Exclusive Interview With Mistress Ava Zhang

Hello, Forced-Bi enthusiasts and practitioners! Today, Forced-Bi.com welcomes the sharp and sensuous Miss Ava Zhang.

Thanks for joining us!

First of all, what is your name? What do you go by?

“‘Ava Zhang’ is what the kinky villagers call me. Some of whom with a more submissive predisposition tend to address me as ‘Ms. Zhang’ or ‘Mistress Zhang.’”

So that our readers are saying it correctly, would you please give us a little pronunciation assist? “Ava” seems pretty straightforward. It would be /AY-və/, n’est-ce pas? But how about your surname?

“‘Zhang’ can be reasonably pronounced as ‘Jahng.’”[1]

Thank you! With that a bit clearer, let me ask this.

What got you into the world of domination and fetishes in general?[2]

“That is a question I still ask myself to this day.

“An unwavering curiosity relating to sexuality itself has been present in my mind since childhood. Throughout my formative years, and well into early adulthood, I was always fascinated by human sexuality. I wanted to learn more about it, talk about it (which was rather taboo in my Chinese household), study it, write about it, and even watch it.

“I am not exactly sure from where this desire to explore sexuality originated, I just knew that from an early age (even before I immigrated to the U.S. from China) I gravitated towards this subject.

“After I graduated from college, as a result of my curiosity, I began a once-in-a-lifetime adventure working as a live-in writer at an enormous sexuality institute in Los Angeles, California. The institute was owned and operated by a woman who dedicated her life to sex education and sex therapy. She hosted an online-streamed show every weekend whereby she interviewed an eclectic selection of guests from adult performers to sex researchers, erotic artists to writers, and basically anyone who has contributed or worked in some way that relates to human sexuality. There would be stimulating discussions and orgiastic revelries taking place on the same nights.

“During my time there, I was always more of an observer than a participant, but I found the whole experience enriching to the core. ‘Bohemian,’ ‘unconventional,’ ‘exotic’ are only a few of the words to describe my time working and living there. I had a curiosity and it was satisfied and then some.

“Of course, some of the visitors were folks in the BDSM community – lifestyle as well as professional. It was eye-opening for me to see such raw, emotional energy exchanged amongst people whose sexual energy originated from the mind rather than the loins. There was an elevated hedonism to the BDSM scenes I witnessed.

“I remember a poignant moment in which I saw a man inflict intense pain on a woman, grab her by the neck, and whisper something in her ear that made her cry and completely surrender to the bliss of the moment – body and soul.

“Up until that point I had a few ‘traditional relationships’ involving ‘traditional sex,’ but when I witnessed that couple I realized that there is a whole new level of mental intimacy that can be shared between two people, wherein vulnerability is shared and one can be stripped of one’s outer shell. I wanted more than what I had. I wanted to connect with people on that level, and I wanted someone to strip me raw and vice versa.

“My time at the sexuality institute ran its course and I moved on after 18 months to a meaningless job as a public relations manager at sex-toy manufacturing company. While my work environment was surrounded by friendly coworkers, dildos of all sizes, and the occasional company outing, I was miserable. I did not want to sit in front of a desk for eight hours a day, watching my life speeding by as I stared at a screen, laboring for someone else’s dream.

“It was then that I was contacted by an author whom I befriended during my time at the sexuality institute, while he attended one of the weekend shows as an interview guest.

“He wrote a massively popular book about the myths of monogamy and its institutionalized virtues and it had an impact on me in terms of how I had been ‘doing relationships’ (for his privacy I will forgo mentioning his name and book. He happened to be passing through Los Angeles and invited me to dinner and it was during our evening together that he mentioned recently meeting a professional dominatrix and how he’d be glad to introduce me to her for mentorship.

“It took me by surprise as I had not mentioned any interest in kink to him, but out of curiosity (as always!) I contacted her, met her, observed some of her sessions, started learning about kink on my own, and the rest is history.”

Fascinating! Would you say that your “domination style” – if there is such a thing – owes anything to hers? Or have you forged your own way in that regard?

“Every Mistress/Dominant with whom I have come into contact has taught me something new about the art and psychology of BDSM. Therefore, my philosophical approach and style are attributable to the lovely people I’ve met as well as my innate personality.”

Are you aiming to make money, or derive pleasure – or both?

“The basis for how I have chosen to live is as follows: I wish to live an autonomous, fulfilling life that is unfettered by social constructs, that which is enhanced by sexual freedom and philosophical inquiry into the mind, and generously sprinkled with humor throughout (the last part might be most important ingredient!).

“In other words, I am to live fully and to live well based on my strengths, predispositions, and curiosities. The money is important insofar as it sustains my livelihood in the form of basic needs, but the pleasures and rewards granted by the choice I’ve made are far more significant.”

Money is, as they say, a “necessary evil.” But you value the freedom. As author Robert Heinlein would have said it, I grok you, there.

What, in your opinion, is Forced-Bi within the context of BDSM?

“Forced-bi is the mutually consensual form of play involving a dominant individual commanding a submissive individual to engage in homosexual acts with a third individual.”

Let me just break in to reemphasize that point. As I have made it plain in other contexts, the fetish doesn’t have to do with violations of will or with anything that is against the law. So, thank you for saying this.

“In the realm of kink, the individuals involved are largely comprised of a dominant female (Mistress) and her male submissive (sub) – who is generally heterosexual – plus a third-party male who is either submissive or dominant, or sometimes neither.”

Where do you think the “force” comes in? What is the operative sense of that word?

“The reason the word ‘forced’ is present in this term is because there is an inherent unwillingness on the part of the male sub to perform same-sex acts, even if he is aroused by the thought of them. And, understandably, the focal point in this scenario is the reinforcement of the power-driven relationship between the submissive male and the dominant female.”

Why are people stimulated by this?

“There are multifaceted reasons for why this scenario is immensely stimulating and arousing for some people. I have broken it down to three categories.

“1) Same-sex exploration sprung from homosexual curiosities. The male sub may have same-sex tendencies and wish to explore it safely under the command and control of the Mistress figure. The word ‘safe’ is emphasized here because in the man’s mind, what better way to sexually engage with another man than under the supervision and – more importantly – the approval and acceptance of the woman he trusts and to whom he is attracted. As such, her presence does not compromise his sexuality as a man, but rather reinforces it by virtue of her willing involvement and collaboration.”

I would almost think that it’s her presence that safeguards the same-sex activity from “compromising his male sexuality.” But maybe you see this as a different category.

“2) Exploration of humiliation/emasculation as a result of social conditioning regarding traditional masculinity and heteronormative matrices. The particular area can be a bit tricky because the whole concept is a confrontation against traditional masculine heterosexuality. The male sub in this scenario is usually straight, with absolutely zero sexual interest in other men.

“Why does he wish to be made to sexually engage with another man? Because somewhere in his social conditioning he has internalized or at least recognized a learned fear and stigmatization of male homosexuality and its constructed association with emasculation. His learned homophobia, a pathological aversion to the effete, whether or not he truly harbors such sentiments, is the driving force behind his humiliation.

“In most scenarios, from my experience, the male sub assumes the ‘bottom’ role by performing fellatio on another man. Furthermore, the humiliation of forced-bi is ‘complete’ when the act is witnessed by a woman – the gender to whom he should be demonstrating his masculine prowess. Ultimately however, by sexually engaging with another man in front of a woman, doing that which targets his masculine jugular, he is actually relieved of the pressures of not just standard heteronormativity but masculine conformity.

“It is for the aforementioned concepts that the forced-bi fantasy is primarily male-driven, because homosexuality – at least in western democratic cultures – is seemingly more acceptable towards women than towards men.”

As you know, some Mistresses reject out of hand the notion that a sub with interest in Forced-Bi could have “zero sexual interest in other men.” These people take it as axiomatic that interest in this fetish literally entails same-sex sexual interest. Have you read any of Forced-Bi.com’s written materials canvassing the options on this question? (For example, we have an article posted HERE.)

And third?

“3) Demonstration of one’s willingness to obey the Dominant’s wishes, even at the surrender of one’s traditional masculine conformity.

“This reason is perhaps the most service-oriented one out of the three mentioned. For the male sub, there is no homosexual curiosity or desire to be humiliated – there is only the desire to do that which the Mistress commands and to please/amuse her by fulfilling her request… even if it means performing sex acts with another man, something of which he has no interest and he may, not even stemming from homophobia, just find the thought of it downright repulsive.

“Any arousal occurring from this act is due to the notion of how far he has gone to please his Mistress, her power over him and the extent to which she can persuade him to cross the Rubicon, how he is basically doing he never thought he’d do only for the sake of her amusement.”

Do you think that a male who begins as a “Type 3” (for instance) can segue into – or have interest awakened for – one of the other types?

“I have known submissive men whose motivations occupy more than one category.”

Why do Dominant Women in your field enjoy forced-bi play?

“While I cannot speak for the rest of the Mistresses, the reasons for my enjoyment are largely cerebral.

“BDSM is a culture of sexual freedom, yet it is balanced by its code of open communication of consent. With that being said, under the protection of consent, I still derive an innate joy from pushing people’s boundaries, distorting their realities, observing them contradicting themselves. The exertion of power is only the surface motivation…

“Watching homosexual acts take place between 2 bisexual/heterosexual men is a source of stimulation for me for one primary reason: it signals to me that their sexuality and identity is non-binary. The homoerotic imagery actually does little for my visual pleasure however, it is the idea that the people engaging with one another are complex and what I am witnessing the expression of their multidimensional psyches.

“Furthermore, I want to see people aroused and unsettled, questioning everything about what they formerly believed to be true. Perhaps such inclinations are essential ingredients in the makings of a Mistress archetype, or perhaps it is just my predilections for mischief and playful destruction. Nevertheless, there is no substitution for witnessing a person doing something, at my behest, reluctantly and yet excitedly (I love conflicted emotions!), that he never thought he would do. And now here he is on the other side of himself.

“Perhaps it is my nature to fight what is deemed ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable,’ to question it by creating conflicting realities that confusingly exist next to the larger reality. On a larger scale, when I can create my own realities by distorting ‘what is,’ rather than submitting to what is before me, then my own existence is more poignantly felt.”

Interesting.

So… final questions. Firstly, do you have any other fetishes or activities that you like to participate in, direct, or instruct? (E.g., “blackmail,” cock-and-ball “torture” [CBT], crossdressing, cum-eating, cum-eating instruction [CEI], humiliation, pegging/strapon, small-penis humiliation [SPH], Etc.)

“The activities/fetishes in themselves are irrelevant without the presence of another human being. Kink is a team-sport in that the aforementioned acts you listed have no meaning for me unless the person with whom I play, and the resulting chemistry, breathes life into it.

“To answer your question, what I ultimately seek is the altered state achieved when I engage with someone in this intense form of bonding. Each person inspires a different note that rings more sharply, bringing out one of more of the following in me: Mistress, sadist, humiliatrix, ‘sissifier,’ nurturer, etc.

“When the facades of trained civility are broken, and I can truly reach for the raw, unadulterated mind and take it out for a spin, I feel both alive and present with another human being.

“To paint the following image: My hand is holding a glowing orb from which I ripped out of their bodies. The orb represents something that predates their socialized selves, and it cares not for the trained mind that seeks to preserve its ego and identity.”

I’m afraid this last query is anticlimactic after that poetic answer!

But I’ll ask it anyway, since it may be the most pressing in the minds of readers. How can fans and other interested persons check out your work? (Do you have any social media accounts or websites to share?)

“MissAvaZhang.com.

“I am a rather private individual, so I have opted to forgo social media.”

Fair enough, Ms. Zhang. All respect to you and your work.

Thank you so much for your participation!

For other Mistress interviews, see the following links!

Notes:

[1] I think that would be /ʒɑːŋ/.

[2] Ms. Zhang points out that she has been asked “this question …numerous times by other interviewers…”. Therefore, some of the content in this section “is almost an exact replica of answers that I provided to others.”