Hello! Welcome!
First of all, what is your name? What do you go by?
“My name is Ruby Enraylls. You may call me ‘Mistress Ruby,’ if that suits our dynamic.”
Right on, Mistress Ruby!
So, besides “Mistress,” any other titles you enjoy? “Alpha”? “Brat”? “Domme”? “Goddess”? “Princess”? Etc.
“I honestly could use any of those titles.”
Oh, my!
“For me, it really depends on the relationship dynamic, which can be quite personal.”
I gotcha.
“Most frequently, I would say that I use ‘Mistress’ as a moniker for simplicity’s sake, and as a default.
“I would describe myself as a dominatrix simply because that is the job title, and I enjoy being a dominatrix.
“However, you can’t go wrong with ‘Goddess’ or ‘Princess,’ as long as you’re treating me with respect.
“I find ‘Alpha’ to be a bit redundant as a title, though.”
Fair enough.
“To be honest, I don’t really use a title in a play context other than for formal training and to instill respect.
“I do use ‘Domina,’ ‘Dominatrix,’ and ‘Mistress’ in online contexts, because I think those are words that most people are familiar with but I think that my name stands alone and doesn’t need to be modified for me to be superior.”
Haha! Well said!
And how do you think of yourself? I mean… is this a lifestyle for you? A profession only? A hobby? Something else? Social activism?
“I describe myself as a lifestyle Dominatrix. To me, this means that I am involved in the BDSM lifestyle, that I am kinky, and that I primarily identify as ‘Dominant.’
“I’m also passionate about the activism surrounding BDSM. But I don’t view that as my primary motivation for being involved in BDSM, or the lifestyle of being a Dominatrix.”
Let me change gears for a second. How do you view those who seek you out? Are they “betas”? “Losers”? “Masochists”? “Slaves”? “Subs”? Etc.
“Similarly to my answer about my own title, I don’t think that it is fair to apply a blanket term to everyone and anyone who might identify as a ‘bottom,’ ‘submissive,’ ‘slave,’ etc.
“I think it makes a lot more sense to ask each person what word represents them.”
I can appreciate that.
“A ‘masochist’ is someone who enjoys pain, whereas a ‘loser’ is someone who feels like a ‘loser.’ It’s a title, whereas ‘masochist’ is an identifier.
“Calling everyone you play with either one of those terms would be… odd to me.”
For every two BDSM practitioners, you’ll get three opinions! Haha!
What got you into the world of domination and fetishes, in general – and Forced Bi in particular?
“I’ve always been interested in domination, BDSM and fetish. I started getting involved in the lifestyle when I was eighteen. And, for me, it has progressed, evolved, and grown since then.”
I gather that!
“What got me interested in forced bi was the control that you have over someone else. The lengths to which someone will go to obey you and to respect the relationship is very alluring to me.”
Mmm… Yes!
And how long have you been online?
“Honestly, I have been doing this online for over ten years. I started in real life earlier than that, though.”
I was just going to ask you that!
Is it exclusively online now for you? Or do you have an in-person space, also?
“Yes, I have my own dungeon.
“Many people in my area have their own private dungeons and I think everyone here puts their own spin on their space, and it becomes very unique to them.”
Right on. That’s Seattle, Washington, yes?
“My dungeon is like my sanctuary.”
Oh? No kidding? I can imagine! A slice of the world that you control 100%.
I am sensing that this is about more than money for you. What drives you?
“I enjoy what I do. Plain and simple.”
What really gets you going?
“What I enjoy the most about being a Dominatrix is connecting with the people that I play with, getting to understand them, and controlling them. I get a lot out of controlling people and having them serve me.”
Power can be intoxicating!
How much of your life does this take up?
“Domination is a full-time gig for me – and then some.
“It’s a lifestyle and it’s also like six jobs rolled up into one.”
I can see how it might become fairly consuming!
But, well… are you satisfied with where things are at?
“I love my job.”
That’s awesome!
“I love doing this. I love so much about this.
“But, I don’t like how much you have to stay plugged in. The connections you make are worth it though.”
It’s difficult to disconnect, sometimes.
Anything else you feel comfortable sharing with the audience?
“This year I’m turning 30.”
Oh, well! Happy birthday, in advance! That’s a milestone!
“I am polyamorous.
“I am a dominatrix in my personal life. So, you can extrapolate whatever you want from that.”
Haha!
“I’m pansexual; you can also extrapolate whatever you want from that.”
You’re a breath of fresh air!
“I’m pretty ‘out’ about most of this information. I don’t know if everybody is, but I don’t give a shit if people know how old I am or if people know things about me in that regard.
“I don’t give a shit if people invade my privacy though.”
Let me ask you a bit more about the fetish, itself.
For example, do you think that true “bisexuality” – where a person is more of less equally attracted to females and males – is possible?
“I honestly don’t think anything is ever really black and white. And I don’t really think that the fetish of a ‘forced’ bisexuality is forcing a black-and-white attraction.
“I think it’s more about having someone explore something. And it’s a power game. But, I mean… really, it kind of depends on the person you’re playing with.”
I can see that.
You explained how important your BDSM involvement is in your life, generally. Do you feel the same way about Forced Bi, specifically?
“Like everything in kink, this is also a lifestyle. Being a Dominatrix is really all-consuming.
“Although it could be described as a ‘power trip,’ a ‘game,’ a ‘fun activity,’ a ‘trap’ for males, a ‘pastime,’ etc.”
There’s a wide variation.
Let me back up and ask… what do you refer to this fetish as? “Coerced bi”? “Encouraged Gay”? “Forced Bi”? “Make Me Gay”? Etc.
“I think a lot of the different names for this fetish are because of censorship. So, I think as long as someone understands what you’re talking about doesn’t really matter what you call something, as long as you’re speaking the same ‘language,’ as it were, about the same fetish.”
Fair enough!
Is it exclusively for males? Sub-wise, I mean.
“I mean, in my experience, it’s mostly been male submission. However, that is just one perspective.
“I do also think that there is a lot of societal pressure for men to not explore feelings of bisexuality or homosexuality. So, it makes sense to me that there would need to be a ‘force’ component for many people to feel comfortable doing something.”
Right on.
Let me actually ask you more about that, if I may.
For legal reasons, “forced” means something less than literally compelled by threat. But, what does that leave us with?
For you, is it more coercion, commandment, encouragement, enticement, inducement, instruction, permission, persuasion, seduction? What do you do?
“My tactics and my approach really change depending on the person.
“For example, with many people, certain tactics don’t work. However, others are extremely effective.
“As a dominatrix, it is your job to figure out what the best approach is going to be, and how to do that quickly and successfully.
“I think that only having one approach is very shortsighted and amateurish. Being versatile is very important.
“At least, if you ask me. Some people just make coercion their style.”
Again, the variation is interesting. Personalities factor in too, of course.
Some Dominatrixes seem to view themselves as fantasy facilitators; in which case, many of them profess to tailor their approaches to their clients’ desires.
Others represent themselves as thoroughgoing well… supremacists. In that case, some don’t appear to care one way or the other what the sub fantasizes about! Or, at least, that’s the impression. Maybe it’s just another layer of roleplay.
What, in your opinion, is actually “going on” in the psychology of the sub? Specifically, does – or can – a guy “change” his sexual orientation because of Forced Bi?
“I’m not necessarily sure that you can forcefully change someone’s sexual orientation.
“This might break the fantasy.”
Haha!
“However, why would someone ask for forced bi, unless they were interested in it in the first place?
“That’s not true of everyone. But, I do see a common trend.”
Right. I gotcha.
And, it’s a fair question, for sure.
Answers that get seem to suggest that some guys requesting the fetish – perhaps most guys – could very well have latent, homosexual urges.
On the other hand, some Mistresses will gesture towards the possibility that, in requesting Forced Bi, a sub may crave degradation, humiliation, or even transformation for its own sake.
Who knows?!
Let me ask you this: Do you think a guy can be a true “switch”? I mean… not necessarily in the sense of going back and forth from submissive to Dominant – but in being able to function as either a bottom or a top in a gay-sex encounter.
“Sure, why not? There are often shades of gray.
“In this context, if I have told a guy to go suck a dick, and another guy is topping him but he’s ‘bottoming’ to me, that makes him versatile, does it not?”
Maybe it does. I suppose the shades of gray flood this area, as well.
Perhaps some guys could function as indiscriminately as bottoms or tops with other males, whereas a few might only be able – or willing – to do so in a case like what you described: where you’re a participant in the scene. …beyond as the director or facilitator, I mean!
Here’s one for you…
Some women profess to enjoy guy-on-guy sex. Maybe you enjoy the optics. Maybe you see it as a spectacle! It’s like the car crash you can’t look away from!
Do any of these resonate with you?
“Honestly, I like all of those.”
Right on. I guess it can depend on who the players are, for sure!
What about a guy’s attractiveness or desirability? It that affected by his involvement in this fetish – or by his identification as “bisexual”?
“Someone’s sexual preference doesn’t necessarily matter to me. All that really matters is if they are attracted to me and resonate with me.
“And if we wanna talk about what that means, I can go into detail about it. But I also don’t want to give a casual reader ‘cheat codes.’”
You know, I was just speaking with another interviewee about that very thing!
I’m happy to leave it a bit vague.
Readers: Take note! You have to work for your rewards!
Do you think the Forced-Bi fetish is “healthy” or “unhealthy”? – in terms of psychology, I mean.
“I want people to follow their dreams and be happy.
“If their desire falls into their health-risk tolerance, that’s fine.
“It’s for them to decide those limitations, and it’s my job to provide information.
“If someone is my property, I am going to be quite strict about rules. But if we are just casually playing, there are different rules.
“Anything can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the person. But I think that following your fantasies in your dreams – as long as it doesn’t destroy you – can be wonderful.”
“As long as it doesn’t destroy you”; that’s sometimes the tricky part, isn’t it?!
But, by “following dreams” is healthy… you mean…?
“‘Healthy’ because it’s explorative, and it’s important to do things that you deeply want to do. Period.”
Understood! Thanks for that.
Do you think of any of this in religious or spiritual terms?
“I don’t view myself necessarily as religious or spiritual. But, I do think that this can be viewed like a ritual. And, from talking to many people, it does seem to have that type of effect – speaking strictly from a state-of-mind standpoint.”
Roger that.
Here’s another question that’s also got an abstract “flavor.”
Nowadays, some people are opposed to the use of so-called “binary language” – e.g., thinking in terms of “feminine” versus “masculine,” etc. – when it comes to John Money’s concept of “gender” and sexuality. But Forced Bi, arguably, has a kind of “bi-narism” built into its name.
Do you see this as a problem for the “Forced-Bi” fetish?
“Unfortunately, many fetishes have ‘-isms’ built into them. And that is part of the fetish.
“So, until we decide that homosexuality is ‘OK,’ this type of fetish will exist.”
I gotcha.
“I honestly don’t know if it is my place to judge other people based on their fetishes. It’s certainly isn’t my place to make a judgment call, because I think I fall into the lines of ‘binary.’ So, I wouldn’t be someone who would stand out as being offended.
“I am for accepting all people, though. So, it kind of becomes a gray area for me.”
I think I follow you. I was just curious.
Okay! Activities!
So… what do you like ordering – or watching? Are we talking anal sex? Oral only? Kissing? Cum eating? Facials? What do you enjoy?
“Literally all of it – within limits, of course.”
Mmm!! And… yes, of course!
Do you think this fetish is getting more popular?
“I think there’s more access available now to exploring things. So, it may appear that something is more popular. I think it’s just more visible.”
Fair enough. That could be true.
Do you think this fetish is being “promoted” in any way by the so-called “mainstream media”?
“Absolutely!”
How so?
“Do you remember when a lot of folks in politics were using the word ‘cuck’? That’s the first thing that comes to mind for me.”
Ah! I see what you mean. You’re saying that this fetish is getting a boost due to the fact that BDSM and fetishes in general are starting to become more mainstream?
Right on.
Do you prefer having guys in dedicated top/bottom roles? Or do you prefer them to just do whatever you feel like seeing them do?
“I think dedicated roles makes sense. But, having some versatility is important.
“Really, though, as long as they were doing what I say, it’s all good to me.”
Haha!! Okay, then!!
What’s your reaction to this? Are you aroused at all? Amused only? Something in between? Something else, entirely?
“Oh, it depends.
“I’m typically amused and entertained, but sometimes I’m turned on.”
Right on!
Do you think that a guy can “just try” sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit?
“Sure. You can try anything.
“You just may end up coming back to it.”
Haha!! Mmm…
What are you interested in doing? Do you usually deal in fantasy and chat, or… are you encouraging guys to have real, in-the-flesh encounters with other males?
“Ha. What do you think?”
Well… frankly, I don’t know! I know what I hope, though!! Lol!
“I am a total instigator.”
Mmmmm!! That’s hot!!
How “involved” do you like to be? For instance, are you mainly sitting back, issuing orders? Are you collecting photographs from encounters that “go down” elsewhere? Are you observing live-streams via webcam? Or… are you presiding over real-life fuck fests?
“Literally. All. Of. Those. Options.”
Haha! Mmm!!! I getting distracted…
What’s your main focus? Your control?
“I enjoy having power and influence over men – well …over people.
“And I enjoy seeing how far someone will go.”
Oh, gawd! Blood flow redirecting! Haha!!!
And what homosexual acts – if any – really get you going?
“I honestly love cocksuckers and cumdumps the best.”
Mmmm…fuck…
“I like imagining that I’m turning them in to cumsluts. And – maybe, if they’re really lucky – little whores.”
Omg!!!
You’re going to make me forget my final questions!
But, seriously… let me ask about limits, briefly.
I mean… are you, A), an anything-goes kind of Dominatrix? Or… B), do you have limits, but subs can do whatever? Or… C), do you have rigid and well-defined limits for all involved?
“It depends on the person – could be a B) or C). So, you know… reader beware!”
Mmmm!!!
I think I’m falling in lust with you!
Here’s a specific: what about condomless gay sex? – so-called “barebacking.” Yay, or nay?
“I typically trust other people to make their own health decisions because it’s their bodies and, for some people, using condoms ruins it.”
Mmm… Fair point!
“It’s not what I would do with my body, and it’s not what I would do with my property. But, if someone that I’m playing with says that it’s their limit – using condoms, as opposed to not – then I will respect that.”
Wow! Alrighty, then!!
So, with respect to STD/STI risk, it’s… everyone for himself?
“The sub should be educated about what he’s doing with his body. And I provide education. But if he wants to do something stupid, that’s his choice.”
Mmm… I like your style!
“I will, however, create an environment that is as safe as possible for him.”
Respect.
Any opinion about married men?
“It’s honestly not really any of my business.”
Roger that.
What about amyl-nitrate inhalants? “Poppers”? Any thoughts, there?
“As long as safety is considered.”
Fair enough.
How do you feel about guys really getting addicted to gay sex?
“I mean… what did you think was gonna happen? Really?!”
Oh, gawd, Mistress Ruby!!
I have to know: any especially memorable Forced-Bi scenes you don’t mind sharing?
“One of my first – since I put someone in a straight-jacket, and we arranged to have several men come over and turn him into a slut.”
Have mercy!!! Lol… mmmm!
“He was wearing a hood; so, he couldn’t see what was happening.”
I can relate to that wish.
“I just watched while he was defiled.”
Quite an, um… eye full – I’m sure!!!
Mmmmm…
Okay! Before you go…
What else do you get into?
“I love so many things!”
I was hoping you’d say that!
“Crossdressing, cum eating, toilet-slave training, ‘intox,’ bimbo training, hypnosis, CEI,[1] JOI,[2] Mind control, humiliation of all types, strapon, CBT,[3] sissification, blackmail, slave training, feminization…
“You name it!”
Oh, Lord! So hot!!!
Mistress Ruby, it’s been so fun! Thanks for stopping by! I need a cold shower, now!
Check out Mistress Ruby online:
“Website: www.rubylovesyou.com
“Clips and Customs: www.iwantruby.com
“Serve Daily: www.onlyfans.com/rubyenraylls.”
And be sure to follow her on Twitter:
“https://twitter.com/rubyenraylls.”
And don’t forget to find Forced-Bi.com on our own, recently minted Twitter account: @ForcedBisexual as well as on our kink-themed Subreddit.
Notes:
[1] “CEI” = “cum-eating instruction”
[2] “JOI” = “jerk-off instruction”
[3] “CBT” = “cock-and-ball torture”