What do you get when you mix sensuality in with your Forced Bi? You get the sort of experience that is the hallmark of our next guest!
Hello! Welcome!
How do you prefer to be addressed?
“I am ‘Mistress Marlena,’ the Portland Sensual Dominatrix.”
Mistress Marlena! Lovely to have you here, today!
How did you get into fetishes in general and Forced Bi in particular?
“The fantasy-and-fetish world found me in the last ten months since the pandemic started.”
Ha! That’s awesome! I mean… that there has been a bit of a silver lining for you in that regard.
“I started doing online sessions after mostly seeing students in-person at my Portland studio.
“In person, I enjoy foot/stocking fetish, tease and denial, sensation play – combined with impact play – and bondage. And, I mentor couples who want to learn kink and erotic touch.
“My goal in a session is to get students out of their heads – to help them feel more ‘embodied’ and to let go of control and get into sub space.”
Right on.
“I practice R.A.C.K. (Risk Aware Consensual Kink.)”
The improved and updated version of “safe, sane, and consensual,” as I understand it.
“We have a safety-and-boundary discussion beforehand. But, once they are bound and blindfolded, I discourage talking.
“I do strap-on and toy penetration – if that’s something they want to explore. But, they need to do a thorough clean-out before the session starts.”
Ha! I shudder to imagine the experience that necessitated stating that as a rule.
“More than half the students have never experienced anal play or prostate massage. Sometimes it’s a ‘meh’ for them. But, often they’ve just had the most mind-blowing orgasm of their lives.”
Mmm… That sounds intriguing!
“I love when I feel like I’m the world’s most powerful magician!”
I’ll bet!
“Online sessions are the opposite. Since I can’t touch, my voice, commands, and a good story have to bring them into their fantasy.
“I’m not a fan of the term ‘Forced’…”
That’s understandable.
“…but I do enjoy ‘consensual non-consent’ role play.
“It might be a rape fantasy, where I ‘force’ them to perform – training them to deep throat men or take my cock.
“Doll them up them up as sexy women, in makeup and feminine clothes, and ‘pimp them out’ as my whores, to perform sexual favors for my friends at a party.”
Mmm… Is it getting warm in here?
“Most of my clients are straight, cis-gendered men. So, I think the idea of them being attracted to men and/or not striving to be ‘manly’ and dominant is humiliating or emasculating to them.
“But, inside this humiliation fantasy, they get to give up control.
“On a subconscious level, they may desire to be ‘girly’ or to be with other men. But, it’s easier if they are ‘forced’ to do it, so they don’t have to take responsibility for their actions.”
The guilt-avoidance game!
“‘But, Mistress, please don’t make me suck this guy’s huge cock!,’ they say – as they jerk themselves off faster.”
Mmm…Haha!
“Many clients have attraction to men, but feel a lot of shame about it. So, the idea of being ‘forced’ means that they don’t have to take responsibility and own those feelings.
“I had one phone client who would spend the first thirty minutes telling me about his stressful job and problems in his relationship with his girlfriend. Then he would insist how he wasn’t attracted to men at all and how he found gay men disgusting. He would describe a particular large Black man he saw at his gym, and it was my cue to act out the other man at the gym – who would lure him into the men’s bathroom and force himself on him.”
Oh, man! That’s quite a specific sort of scenario!
“His disgust was really what he desired, but he couldn’t bring himself to say that he wanted this or that he might be bisexual or gay.
“So, this is how he could have his fantasy without guilt.”
That’s an interested, um… tale. But it leads me to ask: in Forced Bi, what d you understand ‘force’ to be, specifically?
Is it merely a ruse or make-believe device?
“The ‘force’ is part of the fantasy. No one can make you do anything that you don’t already want to do.
“A hypnotist will tell you they aren’t making you do anything you didn’t want already – on some subconscious level, at any rate.
“That’s why they appear to have control. But, in reality, the person being hypnotized is letting them drive.”
I have heard that.
“My work as a pro-Domme is to provide a non-judgmental space to live out what’s already inside of my submissive’s head. So, I would say: May the ‘force’ be with you 😉”
Haha! Well played, Mistress Marlena!
Now, in your opinion, do pegging or strap-on sessions lead a guy into Forced Bi?
“Does watching football lead a guy into being straight?”
Haha!
“Wait — all those big, muscled men running around in padded ass tights …Maybe football makes men gay?”
Lol! Would you believe that I have playfully suggested something similar with respect to comics, superheroes, and several other things besides? Toy advertisements from the 1980s, including the animated television “program” He-Man. Haha! But, I’m sensing you’re being cheeky…
“The myth that liking anal penetration will ‘make’ a man gay is why so many straight cis-gendered men are afraid of just touch around the outer anus or having a ‘rosebud’ massage.
“They’ve been told the ass is dirty and ‘gay’ – that is, submissive and emasculating.
“But then it becomes a curiosity. So, they may try a finger, then a toy – and decide they really like it. They may even learn to ejaculate from having their prostate massaged or stimulated while being pegged.
“For men who’ve never been pegged or had anal sex, they get to experience what it’s like to have a pussy — to be vulnerable, open and sensitive as hell.
“They get to feel what it’s like to be ‘taken’ by another, and to let their partner lead. They learn how to relax their muscles to enjoy new sensations and feel pleasure.
“I think every man should experience anal sex – bottoming and/or being pegged –so they can empathize more with their partner (whose pussy and/or ass they pound, but have no idea what penetration must feel like to their partner.)”
What an intriguing notion!
So… are Forced-Bi subs always/usually males?
“I’ve had only one cis-gendered, female submissive. She came to me because she has no interest in real cocks or men, and told me she never would. If she had a fantasy that I would ‘cure’ her gayness, by ‘making’ her have sex with a man, (‘forced straight’), then I would tell her to seek out a good sex-positive therapist.
“I suppose a straight, cis-gendered women could have the fantasy of being ‘forced’ to be sexual with a woman. But, I think women are more gender fluid, and have less shame about being sexual with the same or opposite gender.”
Interesting.
In the male-on-male situations you oversee, then, do you prefer “bottoms” or “tops”?
“I am a pro-Domme. So, my clients will always be submissive, receptive and respectful when they are in a session.”
Ha! Right on!
“They can be a top or a Dom outside of our sessions; it’s none of my business.”
What’s your opinion of married men coming to you?
“I think it’s easier to work with married or partnered clients for boundary reasons.”
What do you mean?
“They aren’t there to find a girlfriend – and I’m not looking to run away with someone’s husband.”
Oh, I gotcha!
“If they are bi-curious, then I offer coaching on how to have difficult conversations regarding sexuality, open relationships, kinks and desires with their partner.”
Very much like sex “therapy,” of sorts.
“I have seen more married couples together for kink mentoring. A few times, the wife has mentioned she is bisexual. But, there’s no ‘forced-bi’ fetish.”
Boo! Lol. Kidding!!!
But… before you go, please tell the audience: How can fans and other interested persons check out your work?
“Follow me on twitter.com/TheSensualDom
“Website: TheSensualDominatrix.com
“Blog: thesensualdominatrix.com/erotic-educator-kink-coach
“Fetlife: PDX_Mistress
“Instagram: @TheSensualDominatrix.”
Thank you so much, Mistress Marlena!