Mistress BDSM Mia kindly filled out one of our questionnaires! Here are her answers!
About You
First of all, what is your name? What do you go by?
“BDSMMIA.”
There are various different adjectives, epithets, modifiers, or monikers that women in your area use. Which – if any – do you think of yourself as, or prefer?
“Mistress/Maîtresse.”
Do you have any special reason(s) for this preference?
“It seems to be a natural title for My European clients. My regulars progress to calling Me Mia – anyone can be Mistress, only I am Mia.”
Thinking generally of your role as defined above, do you see yourself as engaging in any (or a combination) of the following?
“My whole life is a role play – Mia the Dominatrix is just one side of Me, but activism around sexual freedom and the politics of sex work are things essential to My core being.”
Similarly, there are a number of words that sometimes describe the people who seek out the services of someone like you. What word do you prefer for these kinds of people?
“I refer to My clients as bois or girls.”
Do you have any reason(s) for this word choice?
“They are in My care and My property, they’re My bois and girls.”
What got you into the world of domination and fetishes, in general – and Forced Bi in particular?
“Years of experimentation with My own sexuality and visiting clubs I naturally seemed to adopt the role, particularly with women. Then a club owner suggested I try it professionally, and it all went from there.”
How long have you been doing this online?
“A few years.”
Do you also have a “dungeon,” studio, or other space for face-to-face, in-person, or real-time meets?
“Yes, I have a personal studio only available to regulars or guests, and co-run a dungeon in Bristol UK with the amazing Mistress Melia. Both are very aesthetic places and just keep growing more beautiful.”
Are you aiming to make money, or derive pleasure – or both?
“I do what I want, and I take great pleasure in doing it. The money is never enough for the dedication a true Dominatrix pours into the job.”
How much of your energy and time does this take up?
“It is a full time occupation – anything else in My life runs parallel or won’t survive.”
Are you satisfied with this level of involvement?
“As we are currently in the Pandemic lockdown in the UK, I have had a lot of time to think on My involvement in the scene and how much I miss it.
“I’m happy being the devoted pervert I am.”
Do you feel comfortable sharing anything else about yourself, on either personal or professional levels? E.g., How old are you? Are you in a relationship? (Conventional? Alternative/BDSM?) What is your sexual orientation? Etc.
“I am a Sicilian Roma/ English born woman, currently living in Wales, and proudly love whoever I want whenever I want. I don’t generally engage in relationships, but I’m never without company if I want it.”
About the ‘Forced-Bi’ Fetish
On the face of it, the “Forced-Bi fetish” has two components: (1) “force” and (2) “bisexuality.” Let’s handle both, but in reverse order.
Do you think that true “bisexuality” – where a person is more of less equally attracted to females and males (but see a further question about problems with so-called “binarism”) – is possible?
“I think the time bisexual itself is fast losing meaning as we question sexuality and move more toward seeing gender as a spectrum. I have never met anyone who hasn’t felt strong feelings towards someone of the same gender, and the more we normalise that the more time we have to focus on important things like buying Me a mansion…”
Which of the following, if any, do you think of the Forced-Bi fetish as? It’s all a game to Me; I aim to extinguish shame within My clients, and if I have to push you to the edge of yourself to do it, so be it.
“There are actually a few names for this fetish. Which, if any, do you prefer – and why? My legal department advises Coerced bi…”
In practice, “Forced Bi” seems most often to apply to men being somehow impelled to perform sexually (or to imagine performing sexually) with other men. However, in theory, it seems that it could apply to other things – for example, to women being impelled to perform sexually with other women – as well.
Do you see it primarily in terms of male submission, male and female submission, both, or neither?
“It comes back to the shame game: two women having sex has been much eroticised and accepted by the mainstream, where are two men fucking is still seen as niche.
“The taboo gives power to the kink that I generally cannot wield over women, though it can still be a useful threat.”
As far as goes the second core idea, the idea of being “forced” is a little vague. For legal reasons, “forced” probably means something less than literally compelled by threat of force. Which, if any, of the following do you think is most fitting? If possible, please answer in your own words!
“I never force anyone to do anything.
“Sure I will command, and apply pressure but I am a sadist, and if you’re not taking the pain and the shame for Me willingly, then I’m not interested at all. I’ll take you to the ledge, but you’re the one jumping off.
“Consent, always consent…”
What do you think is going on with “Forced Bi”? Does a guy actually “change” his sexual orientation?
“If a man is ‘straight’ and wishes to engage in this activity as an act of submission to Me, if it gives him the excruciating ecstasy of doing so, I’ll allow it. But rarely is it My suggestion. The very fact a man mentions it tells me it is floating around in there somewhere begging to be let out.”
Is it possible for a guy to be a “switch” or “versatile”? (That is, to be able to take on the role of either bottom or top with more or less equal facility, if not enthusiasm.)
“Switches are rare and wonderful things. They are My favourite kind of toy.”
Some women profess to enjoy guy-on-guy sex. Straight women sometimes liken their enjoyment to that expressed by straight men who like witnessing two women together sexually. And in the case of two women, it is reasonable to think that participants are not always lesbians or even bisexual. They could just be exhibitionists. Other women might just like viewing gay spectacles. And a few, more dominant types perhaps, seem to find the gender-bending and role-reversal aspects appealing.
Do any of these resonate with you?
“I enjoy watching people having engaged and enjoyable sex, in person or on screen. I’ve always found it odd and rather sad that people wouldn’t find two men together a hot combo. Misogyny is such a sneaky thing, it’s infiltrated our culture so hard.
“Memories of guys together often keep Me warm on lonely nights.”
A few women claim to want to date bisexual guys, participate in threesomes with them, etc. Others seem to think that once a guy tries guy-on-guy sex, he’s less desirable to women. (This may be a difference of opinion between more dominant and more “switchy” or submissive women.)
What do you think?
“I think that if you think a man being touched by another man soils him, then you’re possibly soiled goods yourself.”
“To me there’s nothing more sexy than a man who fucks who he wants to fuck, or is fucked in ways he enjoys in a way he finds healthy and good. Those men are treasures to women, and a lot of women would benefit from seeing that free of the constraints of traditional hetrosexuality. Luckily, that old teaching is disappearing.”
Is the Forced-Bi fetish “healthy” or “unhealthy”? (Here, we mean it is positive and helpful for a male sub’s flourishing, or is it negative and unhelpful? For physical health and STD risk, see “Limits” section, below.)
“It’s fun and it’s healthy if it’s safe, sane, and consensual.”
If you think it’s healthy, why is it healthy?
“Let the little sluts get what they really want while Mistress watches on. If they were left to their own devices, we all know what messes they would make…”
Do you think of any of this is religious or spiritual terms?
“I am not religious or a spiritual person, but there is beauty in submission. There is wonder in top space and bottom space, and the transient hypofrontality bois can experience is definitely healing, even if only temporarily.”
Nowadays, some people are opposed to the use of so-called “binary language” – e.g., thinking in terms of “feminine” versus “masculine,” etc. – when it comes to John Money’s concept of “gender” and sexuality. But Forced Bi, arguably, has a kind of “bi-narism” built into its name.
Do you see this as a problem for the “Forced-Bi” fetish?
“Without the idea of binary gender and the shame of subverting hetro-normality, the fetish wouldn’t work. So it both embraces and pushes it. BDSM is wonderful that way.”
Forced-Bi Activities
What homosexual-related activities do you most enjoy ordering or watching?
“If you’re not taking a dick for Me in every hole possible, you’re not playing properly. Do a job well, or not at all.
“Having said that many men need a LOT of blow job training.
“I often pity the bull.”
Do you think that Forced Bi, as a fetish, is getting more popular?
“In certain sectors yes, but generally the more toxically masculine the profession, the more prone the gentleman is to coercion, in My humble experience.”
Do you perceive that the Forced-Bi fetish is being promoted in any way by the so-called “mainstream media”?
“I have seen some rape scenes in movies that positively fetishised the incident – the idea of subjugating a man through sodomy remains prevalent, and will always feed the fetish. The semiotics of desire fascinate Me.”
Which do you prefer, having guys in dedicated roles, or having both guys being plastic enough to perform in any role you want?
“I assign top and bottom, but will join in and top them both as I see fit.”
Are you aroused by Forced Bi, or just amused by it?
“Anyone who gets a little tingle from the look of submission in a client’s eye, or savours the flow of top space, knows how i feel about it.
“it’s a different button it’s pressing.”
Do you think that a guy can “just try” sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit?
“Not when I’m supervising it. Most extend the session, and all return.”
What are you interested in doing?
“This is entirely down to the journey of the person. If I feel they are safe, and sane enough to consensually engage IRL, then I’ll supervise it.
“But often it’s a fantasy or a threat I wield over willing victims to keep them squirming.”
How “involved” do you like to be?
“I prefer to be present to make sure everyone is doing a decent job.
“I’m a dedicated professional that way.”
On Arousal (Skip Section if Inapplicable)
What is your biggest focus/turn on?
“Seeing a boi literally bend under My control, any pain he encounters is a sadistic bonus.”
What sexual acts, if any, really charge your batteries?
“A willing cum dump for a group of bulls would convince Me to work on a Sunday morning even.”
On Limits
Do you have any limits?
“Yes, I am a professional and it’s my job to ensure RACK.
“I apply that to Myself; if I’m uncomfortable with a scene or the dynamic within it, it ends.”
How do you feel about guys having gay sex without condoms (i.e., “barebacking”)?
“I think the fact that this is even a consideration is why so many men require My supervision. Safety first bois.”
Relatedly, some Mistresses insist on safety because Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) in a sub are completely undesirable. Others don’t care either way. Some even profess to find it a turn on to see a guy engage in risky gay sex.
How do you feel about STDs and STD risk?
“Fantasise about it all you like, I’ll happily chat to you about it in session, but if you’re actually doing it you’re a risky client and I don’t care for those.”
Again, thinking about Forced-Bi encounters, how do you feel about married men?
“I maintain I have saved more marriages, and freed more women who deserved better than many counsellors i know.
“Seeing a professional who has no interest at all in stealing a partner trumps going and risking the wellbeing of others for a quick fix.”
How do you feel about amyl-nitrite inhalers (“poppers”)?
“Stimulants and poppers in particular are a big part of the boy on boy scene, and mechanically necessary for many. But My sessions are sober spaces for everyone. Plus, they give Me a headache and I’m the boss.”
How do you feel about guys really getting addicted to gay sex?
“I think that getting addicted to things that feel nice or provide that elusive rush is always an issue, and that personal responsibility and guidance from your Dominant is part of preventing anything that may become unhealthy.
“But, if you are predisposed to reckless behaviour, you need to address that with a trained professional.”
Do you have any particularly memorable Forced-Bi session(s) to share or summarize? (This could be a session that was especially entertaining for you.
“My wonderful friend Domina Jemma and I recently filmed a Coerced Bi scene with her personal sub boi and a newbie. You can purchase the clip yourself if you’d like to try and spot at which point I started growling internally.
“I rarely film Coerced Bi scenes, so it’s a rare treat.”
Final Questions
Do you have any other fetishes or activities that you like to participate in, direct, or instruct? (E.g., “blackmail,” cock-and-ball “torture” [CBT], crossdressing, cum-eating, cum-eating instruction [CEI], humiliation, pegging/strapon, small-penis humiliation [SPH], Etc.)
“Corporal punishment and puppy play are great favourites of mine, however My sadism is wide ranging. I like blood, sweat. and tears, combined with a heady sensuality.
“My sessions are not for the faint hearted, but I encourage fresh meat that wants to work its way up.”
How can fans and other interested persons check out your work? (Do you have any social media accounts or websites to share?)
“https://admireme.vip/BDSMMIA/
“IG: b.d.s.m.m.i.a
“Twitter: @bdsmmia
“Website: bdsmmia.com (currently under redevelopment during UK lockdown)”