Here’s a Forced-Bi-related treat for fetish fans to gobble up. We trust that you won’t choke on it – at least, not too badly.
Today, we welcome a curvaceous and innocent-looking practitioner who will nevertheless entice you into all manner of nastiness.
Hi! Thanks for being with us!
First of all, what is your name?
“My name is Lola Banks.”
Welcome!
How do you prefer to be addressed?
“I answer to the following: ‘Mistress,’ ‘Miss,’ ‘Ms. Banks,’ ‘Goddess,’ ‘Elle’/‘L,’ ‘Daddy,’ and ‘Mommy.’ I usually instruct subs to pick something from that list that resonates with them or to try different things till something feels right.”
Right on! Well, I’ll just grab the first entry on your list, Mistress Lola!
How do you see yourself? Do have a labeling preference?
“I prefer ‘Mistress’ or ‘Domme’ but, depending on the dynamic, can lean towards Brat.”
So nice! I’d be lying if I said I was surprised! Ha!
Any deep-seated, psychological reasons at play, here?
“Not really; it’s just what I identify as and how my energy manifests.”
I gotcha.
How do you think about your fetish-related activities, broadly?
“This is my lifestyle. While I do have responsibilities and an identity outside of kink, it is very much a facet of my everyday life, and something that I don’t see myself ever living without.”
It just feels… natural?
So, this is just a form of self expression?
“Among other things. It’s a passion. It’s a side hustle. It’s recreation. It’s an escape.
“I do feel that it is a bit of a spiritual exercise as well; I’ve grown so much through my experiences and explorations. And I have been able to help others…”
You mean… help them on a path of self-discovery?
“Sure. In accepting themselves and their kinks – and finding safe and sustainable ways to explore and be fulfilled.”
So… how do you see the people who seek you out? As, maybe… patients of sorts? (In a non-clinical, metaphorical sense, of course.)
“It can be a very cathartic experience – being seen and heard and accepted. Having a safe space to explore your desires and someone to confide in. While some dynamics do fall into that category, I prefer the term ‘sub’ or ‘submissive.’
“Unless the sub has a preference for humiliating and degrading language, I don’t use terms like ‘loser’ or ‘beta.’”
Every Mistress is slightly different.
You’re just… too sweet?
“I am pretty sweet! I can also be an absolute handful.
Somehow, I’m not surprised!
“My default is nurturing, playful, and bratty. I can be stern or cruel when it’s needed. But, at the end of the day, I think it’s the safest and most straightforward word to use as it is unlikely to offend or trigger someone the way that ‘loser’ or ‘beta’ might.
“For example, if you’re not into humiliation and you come across a Domme who is exclusively using that language, you may think that she is only into that type of dynamic and rhetoric and, for me, that’s not the case. I enjoy humiliation when it’s a consensual and shared kink, but it isn’t a prerequisite for play.
“I wouldn’t assume someone is into that. You’re all filthy little snowflakes 😉”
No, that makes a lot of sense.
Some Dommes can be alienating with their terminology, definitely.
Though, in some cases, perhaps, they wish to be – thin out the herd of would-be subbies, as it were.
All right. So… basic question:
What got you into the world of domination and fetishes, in general – and forced bi in particular?
“I’ve always been into power exchange. I’ve played on both sides and enjoyed the sub side more when I was in my early twenties.”
Oh? I’ll bet that was an interesting phase.
“Once I started experimenting with dominating men – in person and online – there was no looking back.”
I believe you!
“Logistically, online works better for me. It feels easier, safer, and more convenient.”
I understand. Does that mean you’re exclusively online, then? No “dungeon” or anything?
“I am extremely picky about who I session with in person; it takes time to build that kind of trust and rapport.”
Hey, I totally get that.
But I cut you off, I’m afraid. Apologies!
How did you find that you were into Forced Bi?
“My interest in coerced bi grew pretty organically. I love seeing two men together, either alone or with a woman involved.”
Mmm!
“Incorporating power exchange into that makes it even more exciting; knowing that someone is pushing past their comfort limit to excite and amuse me is hot.”
Speaking of hot, I am feeling a little warm, already.
“Also, I love knowing that I’m encouraging someone to explore something that they’re secretly (or not so secretly) into.”
How long have you been at this?
“I’ve been doing this online since 2017.”
Congrats.
And what are you “after”? I mean… I am sensing that it’s not mainly a “money thing” for you. Or… is it? Lol! Pleasure or profit?
“Definitely both. I’m fortunate to be in a position where I can turn down subs that I don’t feel are a good fit.
“And for me, to justify the amount of time and emotional energy I invest in this, money has to be a component; otherwise it’s just a hobby that I spend too much time on 😉”
Somehow, I’m guessing that a lot of readers can relate! Ha!
Now… you mention your dual investment of time and emotional energy. How much of both are we talking about?
“I refer to it as a side hustle, but the amount of time and energy varies depending on what I have going on in my life.”
No doubt.
Are you satisfied with this level of involvement?
“Yes and no. I know I would enjoy being more involved/having more time and energy to dedicate to it. But I’m also thankful for all the other things in my life that are keeping me busy.”
Life is complicated, n’est-ce pas?
Before we really get into it… Do you feel comfortable sharing anything else about yourself, on either personal or professional levels?
“I’m 36 and married.”
Oh, congratulations, again.
“I’m pansexual.”
Let me get into the fetish, directly.
On the face of it, the “forced-bi fetish” has two components: (1) “force” and (2) “bisexuality.” Let’s handle both, but in reverse order.
Do you think that true “bisexuality” – where a person is more of less equally attracted to females and males is possible?
“For sure. Bisexuality is absolutely possible.”
Ha! What would Forced Bi be without that, right?
How about this fetish, specifically? How do you see it?
“I think, like many fetishes, it can be interpreted differently – as a lifestyle, role play, a game, and of course as a power trip – depending on the person and dynamic.”
Fair enough.
“For me to enjoy it, it has to be something where the sub consents and is into it on some level.”
Well… “forced” is definitely a term of art. Right? Or, well… it wouldn’t be legal.
But that brings up another question. How do you refer to the fetish?
“I prefer ‘coerced bi’ or ‘encouraged bi.’”
Roger that.
“Sure, the idea of me ‘forcing’ you to do it is hot. But, ultimately, I want and need your consent in order to move forward – and for me to enjoy it.”
Understood.
“With ‘coerced’ and ‘encouraged’ I feel like it – the connotation – is that you have some interest and desire to explore this, and I’m enabling and encouraging you to go for it.”
Right. I follow you.
All the subtleties are intriguing.
Lemme ask this… In practice, “forced bi” seems most often to apply to men being somehow impelled to perform sexually (or to imagine performing sexually) with other men. However, in theory, it seems that it could apply to other things – for example, to women being impelled to perform sexually with other women – as well.
Do you see it primarily in terms of male submission, male and female submission, both, or neither?
“I see it primarily with males. But the majority of my subs are male.”
Makes sense!
Now to the trickier part.
As far as goes the second core idea, the idea of being “forced” is a little vague. For legal reasons, “forced” probably means something less than literally compelled by threat of force. Which, if any, of the following do you think is most fitting?
“Depending on the dynamic, it could mean playful encouragement, seduction – seducing you into doing what I want – coercion (only when consent was given prior for that type of play), provocation, or guidance – leading you in exploring it (in a nurturing way).”
So many variations!
What do you think is actually going on with “forced bi”? Does a guy change his sexual orientation?
“I don’t think the play has any bearing on someone’s sexuality.
“I think it can be a tool to explore things you’re interested in, allowing yourself to have a safe space to play.
“I think it can act as a psychological construct, making you feel like it’s not you making these choices, like I’m leading you and influencing you.”
Some women profess to enjoy guy-on-guy sex. What do you think?
“I love seeing two guys together; it’s a huge turn on.”
Mmm… Yummy.
A few women claim to want to date bisexual guys, participate in threesomes with them, etc. Others seem to think that once a guy tries guy-on-guy sex, he’s less desirable to women. How do you feel about it?
“I don’t feel that someone’s sexual orientation makes them more or less attractive.”
Does that mean you think of this as more or less “healthy? …conducive to or supportive of the sub’s mental health, I mean… or “flourishing.”
“I think it depends on the sub, the dynamic, and how play is handled.”
Fair point.
“I would hope that the basis of any dynamic would be safe, sane, and consensual (SSC); that there would be clear communication about goals and limits; and that you would be checking in frequently to see how everyone is feeling, so you can make any necessary adjustments.”
Fine-tune the scene.
You really are a caring Domme, aren’t you?
So… Coerced Bi is… “good”?
“I think it’s healthy to look inward, being honest with oneself about needs and desires. I think exploring different avenues of pleasure is healthy and, when done safely, can only lead to a greater understanding of ourselves and our sexuality.”
Plus, it’s fucking hot. Ha!
“It’s fun and exciting and exhilarating.”
Do you think of any of this is religious or spiritual terms?
“No.”
Right on.
One more academic question…
Nowadays, some people are opposed to the use of so-called “binary language” – e.g., thinking in terms of “feminine” versus “masculine,” etc. – when it comes to John Money’s concept of “gender” and sexuality. But forced bi, arguably, has a kind of “bi-narism” built into its name.
Do you see this as a problem for the “forced-bi” fetish?
“No, I do not.”
Okay!
Now on to the fun part: Coerced-bi activities!
What homosexual-related activities do you most enjoy ordering or watching?
“I enjoy cock sucking, mutual masturbation – jerking off side-by-side, or jerking each other off – and penetrative sex.”
Oh, mercy!
I knew it was getting hot in here…
Do you think that Forced Bi, as a fetish, is getting more popular?
“I haven’t noticed an uptick.”
Right on. Since 2017, you mean?
Do you perceive that the Forced-Bi fetish is being promoted in any way by the so-called “mainstream media”?
“No, I don’t.”
I always ask.
Which do you prefer, having guys in dedicated roles, or having both guys being plastic enough to perform in any role you want?
“I don’t have a preference, here. I think that, as long as all parties are into it and the chemistry it good, it can be incredibly hot.”
Just good, clean fun mixing and matching cocks? Love it!
And… you said… you’re aroused by all cock action? Not just, oh, say… amused by it?
“I’m aroused by it and amused by it.”
That’s a reader-favorite answer, for sure!
Do you think that a guy can “just try” sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit?
“Absolutely. You might find that it’s something that was better as a fantasy.”
Is that an invitation to, um… “find out”?
“You never know until you try!”
Readers: Take note!
What are you interested in doing? I mean… are we talking about hot chats, here? Or, well… more?
“I enjoy role playing / fantasy, of course, but real life is so freaking hot.”
Mmmm… As if I didn’t hope 😉
“Obviously, that isn’t an option for everyone. But, when it works out it is so exciting!”
Okay, gimme a sec. I seem to have forgotten the next question!
Lmao!
How “involved” do you like to be?
I mean… are you just issuing commands from behind a keyboard? Are you reviewing pics and vids? Are you watching via live webcam? What’s the typical – or preferred – scene?
“I like to be as involved as possible – watching on cam, or in person.”
Oh, gawd.
So… I gotta know: What’s your biggest focus/turn on? Your power?
“It’s more about seeing a guy explore and enjoy himself and knowing that I encouraged it; that he’s doing it, in part, for me.”
Mmm… Yeah. Wow.
What sexual acts, if any, really charge your batteries?
“I love it all – but… I especially like to see you get more and more depraved and cock hungry.”
Um… my mind sorta went blank there for a mo…
That’s what I keep the cold water here for… just to splash on the ol’ face every once in a while.
Do you have any limits?
“Yes; I have quite a few – for myself and my subs / our play.”
So, give me a for-instance: what about condomless sex – you know, so-called “barebacking”?
“I strongly prefer and encourage condoms.”
Does “strongly prefer and encourage” mean you don’t deal in barebacking at all – or that you’d scold and spank me after it?
“I won’t condone barebacking unless it’s with a trusted partner and you’ve both been tested.”
No, that makes sense. One other interviewee made a point about long-term sexual health – longevity – versus short-term gratification.
Guys can get a bit carried away when the blood starts flowing, um… south!
So… just to expand on that: Can I assume you’re not “cool” with Sexually-Transmitted-Disease-(STD-) risk at all?
“I don’t think that risking STDs is sexy at all, and I would never encourage someone to expose themselves.”
Thanks for that.
Again, thinking about limits, how do you feel about married men?
“I think, ideally, we would all feel safe and comfortable being our most honest and authentic selves. But, unfortunately, there’s so much shame intermingled with sexuality in our society. I get why so many people struggle with telling their partners about their kinks.
“I don’t turn away attached subs. But I do have talks with them about how to be as safe and discreet as possible, and I encourage them to be engaged / present when they’re with their partners, as well as discussing opening up to their partners (slowly) about their kinks.”
That’s cool.
Sometimes, I get the impression that if Mistresses turned away married men, 99.9% of their prospective clientele would vanish!
But, I may be overstating things a bit.
One more on the “limits” wavelength.
How do you feel about amyl-nitrite inhalers (“poppers”)?
“I actually don’t have much experience with them.
“I’m okay with their use, but it’s not something I ‘insist’ upon – or even suggest.”
Totally fair.
“If my sub is into it, we can incorporate them into play.”
Okay… I lied! Lol. May I ask one more limit-related thing?
How do you feel about guys really getting “addicted” to gay sex? Possible?
“It’s exciting seeing someone get more and more into exploring their sexuality. But, saying they’re ‘addicted’ sounds like there’s something wrong with what they’re doing.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.”
Mmm… What was it that you said a moment ago?
You’d “… especially like to see” me turn into… what was it? A depraved cockslut? Oh, yes: “get more and more depraved and cock hungry!”
Fuck. Now I’m spinning again.
And I had just composed myself.
Lol!
Just a few more things…
Do you have any other fetishes or activities that you like to participate in, direct, or instruct?
“I enjoy humiliation, including SPH,[1] orgasm control, tease-and-denial, chastity, ‘gooning,’ edging, financial domination,[2] some ‘blackmail’ play,[3] CEI,[4] crossdressing, feminization, pegging, micromanagement, corporal punishment, and domestic tasks.”
All that could surely keep you – and your subs – busy for a while!
All right! It’s that time: Please, tell us how can fans and readers can check you out, further? Where can people click?
“You can find my clips on iWantClips, Clips4Sale, and Manyvids.
“I’m also on Onlyfans and Twitter.
“Twitter: https://twitter.com/paylolabanks
“Onlyfans: https://onlyfans.com/paylolabanks
“iWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/344081/lolabanks
“Clips4Sale: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/126945/paylolabanks
“Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/1001489584/paylolabanks/Store/Videos/”
Oh, my! Thank you so much, Mistress Lola!
You’ve been fantastic!
Here’s wishing you a healthy and prosperous New Year!
Just a reminder to Forced-Bi fans, we now have a Subreddit (Reddit.com/EnforcedBi) devoted to our brand of deviance as well as a few weeks-old Twitter account (Twitter.com/forcedbisexual)! Find us in either corner of the web — or both places! — and say “hi”!
(All images of Mistress Lola Banks are Copyright 2020, by Mistress Lola Banks. They are reproduced by Forced-Bi.com or its proprietor with permission.)
Notes:
[1] “SPH” = “small-penis humiliation”
[2] Or… “FinDom” for short
[3] A particular sort of fantasy role playing
[4] “CEI” = “cum-eating instruction”