Encouraged-gay readership: Today we have a commanding and opinionated professional.
Hello! Thanks for being with us, today!
First of all, how should clients and correspondents address you?
“Mistress Lagertha.”
Very good!
Besides “Mistress,” is there any other way you see yourself? I mean…with respect to the coerced-bi fetish, of course! I’m thinking of things like “Alpha,” “Brat,” “Domme,” “Mean Girl,” “Sadist,” “Queen,” and so on.
“My title is ‘Mistress’; my profession is Dominatrix/Domina; and I am both a domme and dominant, sadistic woman.”
That breaks it down nicely. Thank you for that!
I’m guessing that you exclude certain terms because they don’t fit your personality? you have any special reason(s) for this preference?
“Terms like ‘Alpha’ and ‘Mean Girl’ are the territory of the insta-domme.”
Nice neologism.
“They unwittingly also use the submissive terms of ‘brat’ and ‘princess,’ which exposes their lack of knowledge about BDSM!”[1]
Oh, that’s interesting!
What about “Goddess”? I’m just curious, now.
“I don’t have a god complex, so don’t use ‘Goddess.’ And I’m not royalty, so don’t use ‘Queen,’ either.”
Ha! Okay! Fair enough.
“The title of ‘Mistress’ was given to me eleven years ago when I found my place within the community world of BDSM.
“Maîtresse is the French for ‘Mistress,’ and Domina is commonly used in other European countries as the translation for ‘Dominatrix.’”
Thank you for that helpful walk through!
You mention being dominant and sadistic. I’m wondering: Do you see your fetish involvements as deeply rooted? Is it a “lifestyle,” as it were? Or is it a persona you adopt for amusement or role playing?
“It’s my lifestyle and who I am all the time, with varying intensity to suit the situations and surroundings. It’s also my profession now.”
Indeed. I want to ask more about that, too.
But, before I move on, may I ask: How do you refer to people who seek out your services?
“I personally use the term ‘underling’ until I know how individuals identify themselves.”
That’s novel! I love it!
“Their title identifies characteristics of their personalities as well as their fetish interests – the lowest position being a slave.”
You envision a sort of hierarchy.
So… I have to know: how did you first get into fetishes? Forced Bi?
“After reuniting with an old friend after about fifteen years, she introduced me to the world of BDSM and the community around it.”
No kidding?
“Which made me realise that I’ve been this way – all my life. With subsequent reflection, I recalled childhood memories of ordering the boys to do stuff for me to make my life easier – right the way through my teen years, when I made a guy publicly grovel in a college canteen.”[2]
I’m sure there have been numerous, recent developments as well!
“As an adult, the forced-bi side of things I see as levering people into being more sexually open and helping them experience what they are too scared to do on their own.”
You’re performing a public service!
And how long have you been at it?
“I started online in 2012 and (initially) on and off in person in 2011; then consistently since 2016, as a full-time job, as well as the lifestyle its always been for me – just now more openly.”
I see!
And…sorry if I missed it… do you also have a “dungeon” or in-person-meeting space, right?
“Yes, I do.”
Is this …open to interested readers?
“I welcome new booking applications. But! Applicants need to pass vetting and not expect anything for free.”
Interested visitors, take note!
“Not only is that annoying, it’s insulting.”
I hear you.
And that’s actually a fitting segue. Obviously, this is a job for you. But…is it more? I mean, are you aiming to make money only? Or mainly? Or do you derive pleasure from this, too?
“Technically, I’m in this for my mental pleasure, and work for payment.”
It’s got to be satisfying to be able to combine both.
You did say that you work at this full time?
“It’s a full-time occupation and lifestyle.”
How do you feel about that? Would you prefer that it be less? Or… more?
Are you satisfied with this level of involvement?
“It’s the life I chose and, in time, I shall expand it more.”
Well… I felicitate you.
Do you feel comfortable sharing anything else about yourself?
“I am in my 40s and I’m bisexual.”
Ha! Right on. Just not “forced.”
Speaking of which…
On the face of it, the “forced-bi fetish” has two components: (1) “force” and (2) “bisexuality.” Let’s handle both, but in reverse order.
Do you think that true “bisexuality” – where a person is more of less equally attracted to females and males (but see a further question about problems with so-called “binarism”) – is possible?
“‘Bisexual’ means attraction to more than one gender, as per the dictionary definition – just like ‘bilingual’ means able to communicate in more than one language (or many).
“As the early research of Dr. Kinsey[3] discovered, it is a scale. Some people are more or less attracted but as his research was pre-acceptance of Trans* people, back then it only looked at female versus male very literally.
“Today, that scale unofficially includes people’s preferences towards Trans* individuals also.
“Those who don’t know the full history of the bisexual movement have continued to erase acknowledgement of it by creating a separate identity they feel is more politically correct and inclusive. If you expand the scope of the original Kinsey scale, it still covers everyone.
“Look at it as the channel between the U.K. and France. The original scale sees only two beaches: the metaphorically ‘Straight’s-ville,’ and its opposite, Gay/Lesbian/Homo Town.”
Quite a cartograph.
“When, in reality, Straightsville has more than one beach – as does Homo Town. And the Bisexual Sea also has a party cruise of everything goes! Depending on your preferences, you can choose to board the boat or not. But in the visual metaphor/definition, the sea is bisexuality. If you dip your toe in the water or go for a swim, you’re wet.”
It makes the head spin.
“Boarding the boat, you’ll find the Trans* people who don’t want to fully transition or are still finding their place within the beaches. The beaches are more than one, at both sides of the sea: those born with their gender, and those who have had surgery, but they are the gender they present as… Just as not everyone is attracted to only red heads or only tall people, the same can be said, here – born with your gender or had gender surgically corrected, it is a question of preference and choice.”
I follow you in broad outline. You think the sexual landscape is more complicated than what Kinsey envisioned.
“To sum bisexuality up in a simple phase: It’s about ‘hearts not parts’!”
So, where does the Forced-Bi fetish fit on that map you just sketched?
“It is an individual fetish in its own right.
“It’s enjoyed by male and female ‘underlings,’ usually having an interest or sexual desire to explore but requiring the leading and forceful hand of a dominant to ‘make’ them do it.”
And that’s where you come in?
“Either to encourage them to take the first step, or to give them pleasure by being watched; while, for others, it stems from the desire for humiliation – sexual control is the ultimate humiliation.”
I can imagine!
Let me back up a moment. How do you refer to the fetish? “Coerced bi,” “Encouraged gay,” “Forced Bi,” etc.?
“Forced Bisexuality (‘Forced Bi’) is the correct term. The others have come about due to search-engine bans and clip-store rules passed, along with various governments’ – and the worlds’ banks – views on BDSM porn on the internet.”
I understand. Euphemisms circumvent the censors?
“Meaning …alternate descriptors were required; though, it is all the same thing.”
In practice, “forced bi” seems most often to apply to men being somehow impelled to perform sexually (or to imagine performing sexually) with other men. However, in theory, it seems that it could apply to others as well. You’ve already hinted at this. But, I wanted to ask you to hit the nail more firmly on the head.
Do you see Forced Bi primarily in terms of male submission?
“It applies to all genders. But, in BDSM porn, it is most commonly seen as being men, though not limited to that.”
Thanks for that clarification.
Now here’s something a little touchier.
What does it mean to be “forced”?
Are you thinking of it as “coercion,” “commandment,” “encouragement,” “enticement,” “inducement,” “instruction,” “instruction,” “permission,” “seduction,” or something else?
“Depending on the individual, it is all of the above.”
A lot of layers to the onion.
So… what’s actually going on with “forced bi”? Does it change a guy’s sexual orientation?
“Fundamentally, the sexuality is already in the person – female or male. We just open the gates to how they will enjoy it as part of their fetish / desire.”
Is it possible for a guy to be a “switch” or “versatile”? (That is, to be able to take on the role of either bottom or top with more or less equal facility, if not enthusiasm.)
“Any underling – regardless of gender – can identify as a switch, which is being both dominant and submissive instead of either/or. A ‘switch’ is someone who enjoys submitting for some things and dominating for others.”
Some women profess to enjoy guy-on-guy sex. Straight women sometimes liken their enjoyment to that expressed by straight men who like witnessing two women together sexually. And in the case of two women, it is reasonable to think that participants are not always lesbians or even bisexual. They could just be exhibitionists. Other women might just like viewing gay spectacles. And a few, more dominant types perhaps, seem to find the gender-bending and role-reversal aspects appealing.
Do any of these resonate with you?
“Watching two guys or two girls together is hot as fuck.
“If everyone is enjoying themselves, it is even more fun sexually for everyone involved.
“If it is humiliating, then it feeds my sadistic mind, giving me the power exchange craved by us both.”
Ha! So, either way it’s win-win for you!
A few women claim to want to date bisexual guys, participate in threesomes with them, etc. Others seem to think that once a guy tries guy-on-guy sex, he’s less desirable to women.
What do you think?
“Sadly, many women can’t see past the revulsion they seem to feel once they know a guy has been with another guy, sexually.
“This means that most guys, out of undue shame, hide it – and most women will never know anything about it.
“Personally, it makes no difference to me, so long as the sex is safe – everyone is regularly tested and appropriately vaccinated.
“Some guys and girls have a preference to be more submissive or dominant and some like to switch; so long as all are happy, it matters not.”
You touched on some things that I’d like you to expand upon, if you would.
Firstly, is the forced-bi fetish “healthy” or “unhealthy”?
And, by the way, I’m thinking about whether or not it’s helpful from the standpoint of psychological flourishing.
“I’d say it should be neutral.
“But, if people don’t practice safe sex, then – of course – that is when it becomes unhealthy.
“There are some whose limits include them never wanting to know if it’s actually safe. But, part of the illusion is to conduct the checks and vetting for them. That is one of the many jobs of being dominant.”
But you think it can be healthy?
“It is a combination of productive exploration and self-discovery.
“The end of the road could confirm that it was only a fantasy; that – yes – they are indeed bisexual; that they only enjoy it in my presence; that they might really be gay; or that they might actually be Trans*.
“For some, it is harmless fun and experimentation; for others they are following orders.
“Either way, it should be safe, sane, and consensual.
At the same time, it could be unhealthy, on your view?
“Our sexual natures are corrupted anytime we learn about or try anything new. On the side of the dehumanising/defiling/degrading/emasculating there has to be at least an implicit consent, otherwise they would stop the proceedings.”
Do you think of any of this is religious or spiritual terms?
“I don’t care about that. It’s of no interest to me, whatsoever.”
Fair enough.
You’ve demonstrated that you have an appreciation for language. Here’s another word-related question.
Nowadays, some people are opposed to the use of so-called “binary language” – e.g., thinking in terms of “feminine” versus “masculine,” etc. – when it comes to John Money’s concept of “gender” and sexuality. But forced bi, arguably, has a kind of “bi-narism” built into its name.
Do you see this as a problem for the “forced-bi” fetish?
“No, not at all. As I mentioned earlier, ‘bi’ doesn’t mean two it means more than one, by dictionary definitions.
“Why fix something that isn’t broken?
“Instead, educate yourselves with the full history and it becomes a non-issue.”
Okay! Let me depart from linguistics for a minute…
What homosexual-related activities do you most enjoy ordering or watching?
“Cock sucking and oral sex, anal sex, kissing, cum eating and swallowing.”
Hot!
Anything to add?
“Frottaging.”[4]
Guys rubbing against each other? Right on.
Do you think that Forced Bi, as a fetish, is getting more popular?
“All fetishes go through phases of popularity, especially as popular culture gets a hold of them.
“The last few years it has been mainly focused on strap on and forced bi.”
Do you perceive that the Forced-Bi fetish is being promoted in any way by the so-called “mainstream media”?
“I don’t know for certain. But it is certainly being promoted within the fetish industry, largely by the insta-domme types.”
Back to you, again. Which do you prefer, having guys in dedicated roles, or having both guys being plastic enough to perform in any role I want?
“I prefer pliable because possibilities are less limited.”
Ha! I know what you mean!
Are you aroused by forced bi, or just amused by it?
“I’m both aroused and amused, depending on the circumstances.”
Who’s involved, etc.?
Do you think that a guy can “just try” sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit?
“They don’t know if they don’t try. And I’m a firm believer in trying something at least three times to be sure what you think of it.”
Oh, mercy!
“The point of aftercare – as a part of responsible dominant control – is to see where a person’s head is at in relation to the trip we take them on.”
Like a debriefing or an “exit interview.” I gotcha.
What do you usually find yourself doing? Is it mostly fantasy chat? Or do you often find yourself encouraging real, in-the-flesh gay sex?
“All and any! Depends on their limits – and if they want me to push them.”
And how about your involvement with respect to actual gay-sex encounters? Are you just standing back and issuing the order? Do you solicit pics or video? Or do you actually watch and direct in person?
“All of the above!
“Again, it depends on circumstances.”
Fair enough.
What is your biggest focus/turn on? The power aspect? The gay sex?
“Seriously …if your mind is open sexually, what is not to like?”
Ha! I think a lot of viewers will agree with you, there!
Any particular sexual acts that really get you going?
“I love it all.”
No kidding?
“No preference, really. I just like pairing up males.”
Let’s talk limits for a few minutes.
I guess… do you have any?
“Yes, of course. Any responsible, educated dominant has limits – even if it is only a few.”
May I probe, there?
How do you feel about guys having gay sex without condoms (i.e., “barebacking”)?
“I’m fine with guys barebacking, as long as it’s safe.”
You kind of mentioned that, before.
“The guys need to trust each other or be able to produce clean bills of health. Otherwise, I totally oppose barebacking.
“And, I need to be clear: it’s for the boys, only; they in no form get to be involved with me, sexually. ”
Not into any STD/STI-related fetishes, I assume.
“The sub must stay clean; they need to practice safe sex, be regularly tested and vaccinated for Heb B/HPV, etc.”
What’s your view on married men seeking you out?
“It’s on the individual. But, the sexual safety aspect is even more important in that case, being responsible as far as their other partner is concerned.”
Roger that.
How do you feel about amyl-nitrite inhalers (“poppers”)?
“I’m non-fussed about their use in the general sense. The type used makes a massive difference.”
Oh?
“There are two types on the market – with amyl being the superior option.
“However never mix poppers with Viagra – and don’t use them if you have blood-pressure problems, unless you want to run the risk of being in a coma!”
Yikes!
While on the subject of stern warnings… any last words from a psychological point of view?
How about this? Is it possible for a guy to become “addicted” to Forced-Bi or gay sex?
“The question is malformed; sexual addiction depends on individual motivations.”
Thanks so much.
Just a few final questions.
Do you have any other fetishes that you are interested in?
“This is some of what I offer; but, there are many more:
“Anal play (= training your ass, strap on/pegging your ass)
“Ball busting
“Body worship (= hands, feet, legs only)
“Bondage
“Boot, shoe & foot worship
“Breast bondage
“Chastity control
“Cock and ball torture
“Corporal punishment (heavy/mild)
“Corsets and stockings
“Double Domme
“Electrics
“Face slapping
“Feminisation
“Gags and hoods
“Humiliation
“Interrogation
“Leather and PVC
“Leg worship
“Maid/valet – sissy and traditional service training
“Mummification
“Medical play
“Nipple tease
“Pussy torture
“Rope
“Roleplay fantasies
“Sissification/sissies/cross-dressing
“Sensory deprivation
“Sensual tie and tease
“Slave training
“Small penis humiliation
“Trampling
“Water sports
“Wax play
“Whipping/flogging.”
A ponderous list, already! And, notice readers, Mistress Lagertha says that there are “many more”! Unbelievable!
Okay… Mistress!
I’m sure a lot of readers are eager to know: How can they find you online and get a hold of you?
“I’m on twitter as @MistressLagerth
“Website: https://mistresslagertha.com/
“MeWe as Lagertha Féssee
“Onlyfans: https://onlyfans.com/mistresslagertha
“Clips4sale: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/135325/mistress-lagertha.”
That’s awesome!
Mistress Lagertha, thank you so much for speaking with us!
All the best to you!
Also, Forced-Bi.com readers, look us up on Twitter! We have a brand-new account: @ForcedBisexual. And come say “hi” on the companion Subreddit!
(All photos of Mistress Lagertha are watermarked with relevant copyright information. They are reproduced by Forced-Bi.com with explicit permission of Mistress Lagertha.)
Notes:
[1] “BDSM” = variously given as “Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism” or “Domination, Submission, Sado-Masochism”
[2] “Canteen” = “cafeteria”
[3] The reference is to American biologist and “sexologist” Alfred Kinsey.
[4] “Frottaging” or “frotting” is usually defined as the sexual act whereby two males rub their penises together. It’s also sometimes termed “frottage,” which term – remarkably – shows up in conversations about art, or all things. For more on this, see the note to the interview for Goddess Lesley.