Hello and welcome!
Let’s get a few basics out of the way.
First of all, what is your name? What do you go by?
“Mistress Kiara Bauer.”
Right on, Mistress Kiara.
Besides “Mistress,” how else do you see yourself? I’m thinking of things like “Alpha,” “Brat,” “Domme,” etc.
“Oh, let’s see: ‘Alpha,’ ‘Domme,’ ‘Goddess,’ ‘Mean Girl,’… ‘Queen.’”
Any special reasons?
“I just don’t feel like ‘Brat’ or ‘Princess’ fit My style anymore. I was a Princess, but then I grew up and became a Queen.”
Fair enough!
And how do you think of what you do? Is this a lifestyle? A pastime? A job?
“It’s definitely a lifestyle. This is who I am. But there are also elements of social activism and spirituality.”
Oh? Pursuing enlightenment?
“Sure. Advancing feminism.”
Does that affect how you see the people who seek you out? How do you think about – and refer to – them?
“I typically refer to Mine as ‘subs,’ ‘pets,’ ‘puppets,’ etc.”
What’s the thought, there?
“Not everyone is interested in humiliation; not everyone is a masochist; etc.”
A lot of variation.
“Not everyone is a sub who seeks My services either. Many are just kinky or fetishists.”
What’s your background? What got you into the world of domination and fetishes, in general – and Forced Bi in particular?
“I had always had a Dominant personality, but My first year of college (2005), a friend said she was getting into phone sex and would I like to join her?
“I talked to the company head about it and said, ‘that’s not really My thing, but what about Domination phone sex?’ And it all went from there.”
Created a position for yourself? Cool.
“I learned more about the different things I enjoyed, the names of the fetishes that I had enjoyed privately but never knew what to call, including forced bi.
“My porn collection exploded when I learned what keywords to search for, lol! It was such a wonderful, eye-opening experience!”
Ha!
“But then I got greedy…”
Oh?
“I saw the amount of money the company was making off of Me and I said, ‘Fuck that!’
“I bought a domain name and started My own business.”
Cut out the middle person.
“Now I run a similar company for a few other of My Domme friends who don’t have the time or energy to promote for themselves.”
Nice! Congrats. I’m sure you’re getting to it, but… What’s the name?
“It’s called Pretty Punk Princesses – http://www.prettypunkprincesses.com.”
And you’ve been doing all this since ’05?
“Yes; since 2005, My first year of college.”
Online only? Or do you also have a “dungeon,” studio, or other space for face-to-face, in-person, or real-time meets?
“I do, but I am very particular. Interested readers could apply.”
No guarantees.
Are you aiming to make money, or derive pleasure – or both?
“I’m concerned with both.”
Find-a-job-you-love-and-you’ll-never-work-a-day-in-your-life kind of thing?
How much of your energy and time does this take up?
“I’m full time with it.”
Congratulations!
And you’re satisfied with your level of involvement?
“Totally.”
So cool!
Do you feel comfortable sharing anything else about yourself, on either personal or professional levels? E.g., How old are you? Are you in a relationship? (Conventional? Alternative/BDSM?) What is your sexual orientation? Etc.
“I am 33 years old (born 4/20/1987). I am pansexual, queer, polyamorous, and in 2 relationships currently.
“I’m an avid video gamer. I prefer survival-horror and sandbox-style games. I also do a lot of judo, Brazilian jiujitsu, and a bit of art for fun. I do tight lacing and corset training on both Myself and My slaves, particularly My sissies.
“I love baking as well – especially for those I care about.
“I love astronomy and art. I have the entire Northern hemisphere of constellations tattooed on My right arm. And by far My favorite tattoo (so far ;3) is of My favorite nebula (the Orion Nebula, M42) tattooed on My left thigh.
“I also enjoy music, particularly singing. I have a piece of music from a friend who worked at the Renaissance Festival as a bard tattooed on My right thigh.
“I’m very passionate about art, particularly tattoos, and plan to have as many as possible. I have 8 currently.”
That’s quite a range of interests! Thank you so much for that!
On the face of it, the “forced-bi fetish” has two components: (1) “force” and (2) “bisexuality.” Let’s handle both, but in reverse order.
Do you think that true “bisexuality” – where a person is more of less equally attracted to females and males (but see a further question about problems with so-called “binarism”) – is possible?
“Yes, of course! What would this fetish be about if it weren’t?”
And, this fetish in particular…how do you think of it? Along the same lines as you cataloged earlier? Lifestyle? Activism? And so on?
“It’s a combination of things, really.”
Depending on the people and situations?
“It’s often a role play. And it’s always fun.
“But it can also be a power trip for me – or a trap for my subs.”
So many possibilities.
“It’s a sexy fantasy for males and a lovely means of power exchange for both of us.”
Little step back… there are a few names for this fetish. Which, if any, do you prefer – and why?
“I call it ‘Forced Bi’ or ‘Forced Bisexuality.’ But, I also refer to it as ‘Forced Gay’ and, sometimes, by more activity-specific labels such as ‘Forced Cocksucking.’”
In practice, “forced bi” seems most often to apply to men being somehow impelled to perform sexually (or to imagine performing sexually) with other men. However, in theory, it seems that it could apply to other things – for example, to women being impelled to perform sexually with other women – as well.
Do you see it primarily in terms of male submission, male and female submission, both, or neither?
“It mostly pertains to male submission, for sure.”
A fairly commonly expressed opinion – among the Mistresses I’ve interviewed – seems to be that men are more likely to look for pay-to-play scenarios.
As far as goes the second core idea, the idea of being “forced” is a little vague. For legal reasons, “forced” probably means something less than literally compelled by threat of force. Which, if any, of the following do you think is most fitting? Are you ordering? Enticing? Instructing? Seducing? Etc.
“Again, it’s a blend.
“I’m definitely commanding – subs do what I tell them to. Though, sometimes, they are just looking for permission.
“But I am also encouraging – or, egging them on – and enticing / persuading, sure. A bit of provocation. There’s an element of seduction.
“It can also be for my attention.
“It could also be instruction.”
An enormous amount depends on the sub’s psychology.
Speaking of which… What do you think is actually going on with “forced bi”? Does a guy change his sexual orientation?
“Not really.
“I don’t think that all guys who come to me are latent homosexuals. Some might be.
“But I also don’t think that I modify anyone’s sexuality. Straight men might engage in forced-bi activities as expressions of obedience, submission, and subordination.”
Is it possible for a guy to be a “switch” or “versatile”? (That is, to be able to take on the role of either bottom or top with more or less equal facility, if not enthusiasm.)
“Sure; why not? Some people are a bit of both – active and passive.”
I get a variety of answers on many of these questions. And that’s one. Some Mistresses swear that a person is one or the other – at least, deep down.
How about this?
Some women profess to enjoy guy-on-guy sex. Straight women sometimes liken their enjoyment to that expressed by straight men who like witnessing two women together sexually. And in the case of two women, it is reasonable to think that participants are not always lesbians or even bisexual. They could just be exhibitionists. Other women might just like viewing gay spectacles. And a few, more dominant types perhaps, seem to find the gender-bending and role-reversal aspects appealing.
Do any of these resonate with you?
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
Interesting.
“I’m pansexual; so, I guess I just get off on seeing anyone have sexy fun, regardless of gender.”
Right on.
A few women claim to want to date bisexual guys, participate in threesomes with them, etc. Others seem to think that once a guy tries guy-on-guy sex, he’s less desirable to women). This may be a difference of opinion between more dominant and more submissive women.
What do you think?
“This question is pretty appalling. The thought of anyone being ‘less desirable’ because of their choice of sexual partner is a type of discrimination that I thought we had moved past as a species.”
Of course, I meant “less desirable to you, personally” and not “of less inherent human value” or anything.
Is the forced-bi fetish “healthy” or “unhealthy”? (Here, I am thinking about whether it’s positive and helpful for a sub’s flourishing, or if it’s negative and unhelpful.)
“It’s neutral.”
Somewhere in between.
Why do you say that?
“It’s harmless fun. It’s just a diversion or escape.”
And, so… not germane to questions of flourishing? Roger that.
Do you think of any of this is religious or spiritual terms?
“Yes, forced bi is a bit like a ritual.”
Interesting!
“I think of it as sex magic or psychological programming.”
Nowadays, some people are opposed to the use of so-called “binary language” – e.g., thinking in terms of “feminine” versus “masculine,” etc. – when it comes to John Money’s concept of “gender” and sexuality. But forced bi, arguably, has a kind of “bi-narism” built into its name.
Do you see this as a problem for the “forced-bi” fetish?
“The only problem I could see arising is if someone tries to ‘force’ a non-binary person into a gendered forced-bi situation against their wishes.”
Oh, well… of course, there’s an obvious problem if someone tries to force anyone – “non-binary” or otherwise – into any sexual situation against their wishes.
I should reiterate, for readers, that everything contemplated must be within the bounds of applicable laws.
The word “Forced” should be construed as a term of art – much like some fetishists use the term “slave.” We’re not talking about compelling anyone against their wishes any more than we’re talking about actual chattel slavery.
But, proceed!
And, in fact, let’s get to some of the fan-favorite stuff!
What homosexual-related activities do you most enjoy ordering or watching?
“I enjoy cock sucking and oral sex.”
Whether it’s one male servicing another or a 69?
“Yes.
“I also like penetrative, anal sex; kissing; so much stuff, really.”
Oh?
“Cum eating… cum swallowing… facials… bukkake…”
Wow, nice! Ha!
Do you think that Forced Bi, as a fetish, is getting more popular?
“I do actually think it’s getting more popular, yes.”
Do you perceive that the Forced-Bi fetish is being promoted in any way by the so-called “mainstream media”?
“No.”
Which do you prefer, having guys in dedicated roles, or having both guys being plastic enough to perform in any role I want?
“I prefer having one dedicated bottom (the cocksucker or cumdump) and one dedicated top (the cum donor or stunt cock).”
Are you aroused by forced bi, or just amused by it?
“Kind of amused. But, mostly, I love the sense of power it gives Me.”
Not uncommon!
“It makes Me feel strong and in-charge when a self-proclaimed straight guy performs oral or lets another man fuck him in the ass.”
Do you think that a guy can “just try” sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit? Or, is it more habit forming?
“Sure, he can stop. Maybe he likes it; maybe he doesn’t.”
What are you interested in doing? I mean, issuing instructions via chat and then bowing out? Or, watching it all go down remotely, over webcam? Or presiding in person? Something else?
“I encourage guys to have real, in-the-flesh encounters with other males – assuming they express an interest in doing so!
Chat’s the gateway, so to speak?
“I want to see how far they actually want to go and encourage them to go at least that far.”
Ha! “At least.” That’s hot.
And… do you want to watch?
“I at least need to see photographic evidence that they went through with whatever was discussed.
“But, I also enjoy watching via webcam and, occasionally, directing and observing in real-life – in-person – situations.”
What is your biggest focus/turn on?
“Honestly, it’s all about my power.
“I get off on my ability to get a guy to do extreme – even gay – things.”
What sexual acts, if any, really charge your batteries?
“What I like best is: the act of surrender on the part of the bottom.”
Do you have any limits?
“I have a few, but they apply mostly to me rather than to my subs. In other words, the limits are things I’m not willing to do.”
Subs can do it all? Awesome!
Even “barebacking”? Having gay sex without condoms?
“I’m fine with guys barebacking in a limited sense.”
You mean if everyone knows and trusts sexual-health status?
“Exactly.”
Relatedly, some Mistresses insist on safety because Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) in a sub are completely undesirable. Others don’t care either way. How do you feel about STDs and STD risk?
“The sub must stay clean. If need be, he should practice safe sex.”
How do you feel about married men?
“I don’t care either way.”
Yeah?
“I don’t even ask.”
How do you feel about amyl-nitrite inhalers (“poppers”)?
“I prefer that subs use them.”
Oh? No kidding?
“Poppers make subs more pliable and suggestible.”
How do you feel about guys getting addicted to gay sex?
“The question is malformed.”
Is it possible?
“I don’t think they will be addicted.”
Thank you for your stamina in hanging with me this long.
Just a few more questions.
Do you have any other fetishes or activities that you like to participate in, direct, or instruct? (E.g., “blackmail,” cock-and-ball “torture” [CBT], crossdressing, cum-eating, cum-eating instruction [CEI], humiliation, pegging/strapon, small-penis humiliation [SPH], Etc.)
“Yes, tons!”
I figured!
“My favorites are blackmail, hypnosis, humiliation, SPH,[1] forced intoxication, brainwashing/mindfuck addiction training, trampling, foot/shoe/sock/nylon worship, feminization/sissification, CBT,[2] ball busting, chastity/key holding, beat down, fetish wrestling, all forms of impact play, and anal training.”
My! That’s quite a list!
And that’s just your favorites!
I’m sure that more than one reader is wondering: “How can I learn more?”
Hit us with some links! How can fans and other interested persons check out your work?
“http://www.MistressKiarasDungeon.com
“http://www.BlackmailFetish.com
“http://Stars.avn.com/DominaKiara
“https://iwantclips.com/store/255/DominaKiara
“http://bityurl.com/DominaKiaraC4S
“http://Allmylinks.com/DominaKiara
“http://www.twitter.com/HypnoFemdom
“Skype: GoddessKiara”
Thank you for being with us today!
Notes:
[1] SPH = “Small-Penis Humiliation.”
[2] CBT = “Cock-and-Ball Torture.”