To all of you Encouraged- and Forced-Bi addicts, today, we welcome an intense, ivory-skinned practitioner of our favorite fetish.
Hello! Let’s do the usual preliminaries.
What do you go by?
“I’m Bastienne Cross; I go by Bastienne!”
Welcome, Bastienne!
So, there are numerous titles attached to a person in your line of work. I’m thinking of “Brat,” “Domme,” “Mistress,” “Queen,” and the like.
Which of these most appeals to you? How do you think of yourself?
“I think of myself as a Professional Dominant and Kink Facilitator. I also identify as a Sadist.”
That sounds like an explosive combination!
All right… Thinking of yourself in those roles, is this a lifestyle? Pastime? Roleplay? Social activism? What is it that you see yourself as doing?
“I’m a Professional and Lifestyle Domme. I like to think I bring something special to my paid clients given that I enjoy D/s relationships in my personal life as well.[1]”
That’s awesome!
Let me ask a question on the flip side.
The people who look for you – seek out your services – what word or words do you use for them? I’m thinking, here, about words like “betas,” “losers,” “masochists,” “slaves,” “subs,” etc.
“Whatever that particular person prefers! I have no strong preference…”
No preference? Interesting!
“…there’s fun to be had with all of them, respectively.”
Okay, then!
How did you start into all this? What got you into the world of domination and fetishes, in general – and forced bi in particular?
“I started 5 years ago selling used panties on Craigslist of all things!”
Ah! Once upon a time, Craigslist was a go-to cyber destination for Forced-Bi! (See HERE, HERE, and HERE for examples.)
“I quickly ventured through many fetishes and ended up finding my passion in Female Domination. It was such a life-changing discovery for me; I’m very grateful for not only the creative, professional path I’ve since found but my own personal sexuality has completely evolved.
“Professional Domination is what introduced me to the world of BDSM, and I’ve considered myself a Lifestyle (and Professional) Domme ever since!”
That’s fascinating!
So, how do you do this? Where? I mean, I found you online, but do you have a physical meeting space as well? A “dungeon,” studio, or whatever?
“I exclusively offer in-person sessions in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I host from the best dungeons in the city, run by fellow Professional Dommes.”
Canadian readers – and adventurous travelers – take note!
What’s your goal? Are you aiming to make money, or derive pleasure – or both?
“The perfect balance of both! I mean, yeah, Momma’s gotta pay the bills!
“But …the most important thing is passion. I must be excited about what I’m offering, otherwise why bother?
“If I wanted a boring, miserable job, I would go get one!”
Ha! Well said!
How much of your energy and time does this take up?
“It’s my full-time gig!”
Are you satisfied with this level of involvement?
“I absolutely love it!”
Well, congratulations! Not everyone is in such a position.
Do you feel comfortable sharing anything else about yourself, on either personal or professional levels? For instance, your age, relationship status, anything.
“Absolutely!
“I’m 34 years old; I’m in a D/s relationship with an amazing, submissive man I met in session a couple years ago!”
No kidding! That’s going to make a few readers quite envious!
“I’m pansexual and consider myself Dominant with men and submissive with women, in general. I have a high sex drive and a relentless appetite for novel, nuanced layers of power dynamics in my own sex life.
“I’m highly cerebral, introverted and introspective. Dealing with complex, subversive forms of sexuality (my own and others) is what I was born to do – I truly love it!”
That provides an interesting segue! Because my next few questions get a bit more into analysis than just personal story sharing.
Let me start with this: On the face of it, the “Forced-Bi” fetish has two components: (1) force and (2) bisexuality. I’ll ask you about both of these concepts, in turn.
Do you think that true “bisexuality” – where a person is more of less equally attracted to females and males (but see a further question about problems with so-called “binarism”) – is possible?
“Absolutely! I’m one of them!”
Okay!
Which of the following, if any, do you think of the Forced-Bi fetish as? Are you thinking that it’s a lifestyle? Just a bit of fun? A trap? A roleplay?
“It’s very much a power trip for me, particularly with men who are actually straight but have heavily fetishized homosexuality. I love watching them humiliate themselves doing something that I view as entirely innocuous.”
That’s an interesting twist!
As you know, there are actually a few names for this fetish: “coerced bi/gay,” “encouraged bi,” “enforced bi,” “forced bi,” etc., etc. Do you prefer one over another? Or pretty much the same difference?
“I love the term ‘coerced bi’ because I adore any form of coercion roleplay, gaslighting,[2] blackmailing, manipulation. I love the act of pushing someone to do something they’re hesitant about.”
In practice, “forced bi” seems most often to apply to men being somehow impelled to perform sexually (or to imagine performing sexually) with other men. However, in theory, it seems that it could apply to other things – for example, to women being impelled to perform sexually with other women…
“Yup, totally!”
Ha! I’m guessing you’re open to the fetish applying to women as well?
“I would love that. The reality is, most paid submissives are male.”
So much for “bisexuality,” then.
Let’s talk about “force” for a minute.
This one is not a little vague. For legal reasons, it probably means something less than literally compelled by threats. But, where do you fall along the spectrum of possible definitions? Which, if any, of the following do you think is most fitting? Coercion, commandment, encouragement, enticement, inducement, instruction, permission, persuasion, provocation, seduction? Something else?
“With the right client, I love to persuade and entice, using empty promises as a way to trick the client into performing gay acts.
“For example: ‘I would totally love to fuck you but how do I know you’re serious? There are so many guys like you that are trying to get in my pants, show me that you’re serious by sucking my friend’s dick first while I record it.’”
Oh, my!
“I love the idea of a man totally debasing himself for the chance to fuck me then turning it into a blackmail situation.
“‘I’ve got this video of you now and my friend said your mouth felt great, let’s keep him happy and your secret is safe.’”
Wow!
“Okay, I have to stop, I’m turning myself on! 😉”
Yes, it’s getting a bit warm in here!
But what do you think is actually going on with “forced bi”? Does a guy literally change his sexual orientation?
“In my experience it’s either a veiled excuse to justify doing gay acts or it’s a fetishization of homosexuality.
“In the first instance, that guy may do gay things with other men on his own, without a woman present, in addition to participating in a Forced-Bi scene.
“The latter example, of a guy who highly fetishizes homosexuality, the power exchange between him and the FemDom becomes the main focus. In that example, he wouldn’t be likely to do anything gay outside of a Forced Bi scene.”
Very clearly put. I follow you.
In your opinion, is it possible for a guy to be a “switch” or “versatile”?
“Of course!”
Some women profess to enjoy guy-on-guy sex. Straight women sometimes liken their enjoyment to that expressed by straight men who like witnessing two women together sexually. And in the case of two women, it is reasonable to think that participants are not always lesbians or even bisexual. They could just be “attention whores.” Other women might just like viewing gay spectacles. And a few, more dominant types perhaps, seem to find the gender-bending and role-reversal aspects appealing. Do any of these resonate with you?
“Yup, I love gay porn for the same reason I like all the other weird porn I watch: the power dynamics.
“I prefer watching big, burly guys fucking smaller guys, or seeing two guys fucking with a significant age gap.
“Power dynamics turn me on!”
That is intriguing!
A few women claim to want to date bisexual guys, participate in threesomes with them, etc. Others seem to think that once a guy tries guy-on-guy sex, he’s less desirable to women). This may be a difference of opinion between more dominant and more submissive women. What do you think?
“I’ve dated a bisexual guy and had MFM[3] threesomes, I think it’s super-hot.”
Is the forced-bi fetish “healthy” or “unhealthy”? I mean, is it conducive to a sub’s flourishing, or to his corruption?
“It’s as healthy as the person who is experiencing it.
“Anything that is explored in sexuality as a taboo is often playing with deeper psychological issues. This isn’t inherently a bad thing by any means, it depends entirely on the outlook of the person who is exploring.
“Often, we’re delving into shame when we explore in BDSM. Does the person know how to navigate their own shame? Do they have an introspective practice that helps them assimilate their own desires into their real-life identity?”
Do you think of any of this in religious or spiritual terms?
“I personally don’t, but I know some people will experience their kinks through the lens of their religion.
“I think it’s best to test those boundaries and find a spiritual practice that is sustainable and healthy for you. I’m a big fan of living truthfully, so everyone needs to put their big-girl or boy-pants on at some point and decide how they want to live – whatever that may look like for them.”
What homosexual-related activities do you most enjoy ordering or watching?
“Anal is my favourite!”
All right, then! A lot of your compatriots say “cocksucking”!
Do you think that Forced Bi, as a fetish, is getting more popular?
“It’ll probably lose a bit of steam as the homophobic older generations die out. It’s a fetish largely based on homophobia after all.”
Interesting statement!
Do you perceive that the Forced-Bi fetish is being promoted in any way by the so-called “mainstream media”?
“What’s mainstream media? I’ve never heard of it 😉”
Ha!
Which do you prefer, having guys in dedicated roles, or having both guys being plastic enough to perform in any role I want?
“I like dedicated roles where one is the top and one is the bottom!”
Power dynamics, again? Roger that!
I think I you basically disclosed this earlier, but… are you aroused by Forced Bi, or just amused by it?
“Both! I think it’s super-hot watching a dude get used by another, but I also think it’s funny how much of a taboo some guys think it is.”
Do you think that a guy can “just try” sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit?
“Sure, I’ve seen that before. Everyone is different. Also, there’s nothing wrong with just leaving something as a fantasy, lots of people do that with lots of kinks.”
What are you interested in doing? Having guys leave it at the level of fantasy?
“Actions speak louder than words; I love facilitating and watching.”
Okay! How “involved” do you like to be? I mean… you just issue an order and the guys go and carry it out on their own?
“Live and in the flesh! I want to be there to ‘help’ 😉”
What is your biggest focus/turn on?
“Honestly, it’s all about my power. I get off on my ability to get a guy to do extreme – even gay – things.”
What sexual acts, if any, really charge your batteries?
“I love watching a guy reluctantly suck his first cock.
“I also love anally training my submissives, leading up to a Forced-Bi scene. I like to warm them up with my strap on before handing them over to the bull.”
Do you have any limits?
“Yup, condoms.”
How do you feel about guys having gay sex without condoms?
“Not for me! It’s a turn off. Stay safe and have fun, y’all.”
Again, thinking about Forced-Bi encounters, how do you feel about married men?
“That’s their choice. I don’t like hearing about their personal lives, because I feel bad for their wives. But, ultimately, it’s their marriage and morals on the line; I can’t make decisions for others.”
Do you have any other fetishes or activities that you like to participate in, direct, or instruct?
“I’m best known for my ball-busting clip studio on C4S, and have recently gotten into tickling and extreme wedgies!”
Okay! That’s a new one by me!
“I also love orgasm torture, taboo roleplay and pegging.”
How can fans and other interested persons check out these interesting fetishes?
“My website is ballbustingtorontodominatrix.ca, my clip studio is https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/141435/ballbuster-bastienne/ and my Twitter is https://twitter.com/bossybastienne.”
That’s awesome, Bastienne! Thank you so much for being with us today!
(All photographs of Bastienne Cross used in this post are Copyright 2020 by Bastienne Cross. They are reproduced on Forced-Bi.com with permission.)
Notes:
[1] “D/s” designates domination and submission. Often, as here, adherents will capitalize the “D” and leave the “s” in lowercase as a symbol of the power disparity embodied in this form of relationship.
[2] In fetish terms, “gaslighting” has to do with a sort of psychological manipulation. In broader terms, it designates a campaign to make someone question his or her own beliefs, identity, sanity, and so on.
[3] “MFM” = a male-female-male threesome, as opposed to one with some other blend of genders: MMF, MTF, MMT, TTF, MMM, etc.