What Is the Basic Definition of the ‘Forced Bi’ Fetish?

“Forced bi” (also sometimes called “coerced bi,” “encouraged bi,” or “forced bisexuality”) is the name for a sexual fetish that (1.) has to do with a person being compelled to participate in same-sex activities and that (2.) falls broadly underneath the umbrella of the so-called “BDSM scene”[1] (for more on which, see the end note). Typically, the person doing the “compelling” is playing the role of the dominant overseer. This role is sometimes – but not always – carried out by a person who self-identifies as a “Mistress” (female) or “Master” (male) or a “Domme” (female) or “Dom” (male).[2]

What Does ‘Forced” Mean, Exactly?

It is important to note that the “forced” part of the phrase is not intended to convey anything illegal.[3] Being “forced” in the relevant sense does not imply that the pertinent activities are being foisted upon persons against their wills or without their consent. Instead, what is in view is more of a subtle process – variously described as coercion, encouragement, or manipulation – to which all involved parties have given their consent.

It is possible to think of the “forcing” as lying along a spectrum. On the one end, we have “hard forcing” which, although is by no means intended to verge on assault or rape, is nevertheless, carried out in a “harsh” or “mean” manner, perhaps roughly. On the opposite end of the continuum, we have what we might call “soft forcing.” On this end, the person doing the forcing merely “advises” or “suggests,” perhaps gently.

We might think of a progression something like the following:

• Strict coercion, with corporal punishment, humiliation, or “threats” of “blackmail”[4]
• Less-strict coercion, possibly with humiliation
• Enticement, possibly with teasing
• Encouragement, gentle and without “judgment”

What Does ‘Bi’ Mean?

Of course, the prefix “bi-” strictly designates the number two and has to do with something that has two parts or is, in some way, doubled or halved. For example, to “bisect” something is to cut it in half – that is, to reduce it to two portions. Similarly, if you’re paid a bonus biannually, you expect to cash extra checks twice a year.

What Does ‘Bisexual’ Mean?

In the relevant fetish, “bi” is short for bisexual. The basic idea is that a “bisexual” person is a one who is somehow “sexual” with both males and females. Following the sexual-research work of people like Alfred Kinsey (a pioneering 20^th-century American “sexologist”), the usual connotation of the word “bisexual” is that such a person experiences actual sexual attraction to persons of both sexes. However, it is important to observe that it is physically possible to have sexual intercourse with a person to whom one is not particularly attracted.[5]

In the forced-bi fetish, one person (usually, but not always, male) is “forced” (see the meaning, above) by a someone to engage in sexual activities with another male. In this sort of scenario, the person who is being “forced” may or may not feel attracted to his (or her) sexual partner. To the extent that the forced person is sexually aroused, the arousal may stem from an attraction to the person who is doing the forcing (rather than with the partner, per se) or from some fascination with the idea of being forced, or some other source (an unrelated fantasy, for instance).

Thus, we usually have these sorts of pairings:

• Male with male
• Female with female

Are There Different ‘Types’ of ‘Forced Bi’?

In one sense, there are probably as many different sorts of forced-bi situations as those who engage in it. But, we can probably group some scenarios together and draw some general inferences.

For example, we can sort by the sex of the participants.[6]

• A male being “forced” to have sex with another male, where a female is the one doing the “forcing”
• A male being “forced” to have sex with another male, where a male is the one doing the “forcing”
• A female being “forced” to have sex with another female, where a female is the one doing the “forcing”
• A female being “forced” to have sex with another female, where a male is the one doing the “forcing”

We could sort by the sexual orientation of the participants as well.[7]

• A straight male being paired (by whomever) with another straight male
• A straight male being paired (by whomever) with a gay male
• A straight female being paired (by whomever) with another straight female
• A straight female being paired (by whomever) with a gay female

We can also sort by the “BDSM”-orientation[8]

• A submissive male being paired (by whomever) with another submissive male
• A submissive male being paired (by whomever) with a dominant male
• A submissive female being paired (by whomever) with another submissive female
• A submissive female being paired (by whomever) with a dominant female

Are Other Fetishes in the Vicinity?

Absolutely. Some other fetishes that are often related to “forced bi” include: blindfolding; bondage; crossdressing; strapon play; and so on.

What Do the Facilitators (or Dominant Players) Get out of ‘Forced Bi’?

Motivations and interests vary considerably. Here are a few personality types that I have run across.

On the one hand, there are facilitators who say that they merely to enjoy watching people – or maybe watching people “experiment,” sexually. Call these people the voyeurs. For voyeurs, it isn’t about self-discovery or about ruination; it’s just about fun – and being a fly on the wall, observing.

Somewhat differently oriented are those to claim that they enjoy assisting people in “finding” their “true selves.” These people often deny that they are “forcing” anything – in any sense. Rather, to hear them tell it, what they are doing is encouraging people to act upon latent impulses that, they may believe, represent the actors’ “true, inner selves.” Call them the quasi-therapists. For the quasi-therapists, it’s not at all that the men involved could be straight, really. Rather, the men are latently gay and the facilitator is just encouraging them to “come out.”

Other people have a decidedly darker set of motivations. A few “Mistress”-types profess to derive satisfaction from corrupting people – often, but not always, men. They may have something in common with the mythical witch Circe, who turned men into pigs for her amusement. For mistresses of this kind, one main goal is sometimes stated this way: to take straight men and sexually reprogram them to respond to gay stimuli. In some cases, the facilitators wish, bluntly put, to ruin men for women and to prompt them to become gay. Like the quasi-therapists, these people think of “forced bi” as merely a bridge to out-and-out homosexuality. However, unlike the quasi-therapists, these mistresses do not view their intercession as assistance. They prefer to think of it as debasement. Call these people the “transformers.”

Transformers themselves run the gamut, motivationally. Some transformers wish to see their subjects (or “victims”) end up as cock or cum addicts. Others claim to want to actually turn their targets into transsexuals. Still others that I have found enjoy trapping men into lifestyles of homosexual promiscuity (or worse).

Of course, there can also be hybrid facilitators. For example, one “Mistress” seemed to think of herself as assisting latent homosexuals to become patent homosexuals. But, she also professed to want her stable of homosexuals to end up seduced and sucked in (no pun intended) to the gay lifestyle. We might call this kind the evil therapists.

• Voyeurs (just out to watch and have fun)
• Quasi-therapists (see themselves as helping repressed homosexual urges find expression)
• Transformers (believe that what they are doing is changing straight men into homosexuals)
• Evil therapists (see themselves as unleashing homosexuals down a spiral of depravity)

What Do the Participants (Especially the Submissives) Get out of It?

Submissives have a wide variety of motivations as well. In fact, we might think that, to a certain extent, there are submissive attitudes that mirror each of the dominant ones just surveyed.

The counterpart to the voyeur would therefore be the exhibitionist. The exhibitionist is really out to be seen, to be watched and observed. Being a spectacle gets the exhibitionist off. In the scope of this fetish, however, it’s not being watched doing just anything; it’s being watched doing something taboo.

On the other hand, there are those who have latent gay desires/urges. For these people, it may be that they seek out facilitators like our quasi-therapists. The idea is that the latent gays want permission to engage in homosexual behavior.

Finally, there are those people who really want to be corrupted. They may want to be trapped, suffocated, or otherwise destroyed – physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Let’s call these the “self-destructors.”

And, as before, there are doubtless people who are hybrids. They may display traits from some other categories, or they may embody the kind of confusion that precludes any clear trait manifestation.

• Exhibitionist (the person who just wants to be watched – doing whatever/whoever)
• Latent gays (the person who has unrealized homosexual urges)
• Self-destructors (the person who wants to be corrupted)
• Hybrids (the person who is some combination; or who is confused)

Final Thoughts

Escape From Guilt

There are two somewhat interesting psycho-philosophical points. One has to do with the “domme”/“sub” or “master”/“slave” dynamic, generally. The idea is that it can be understood as an exercise in guilt-avoidance.

It is conceivable that one sort of “submissive” is the kind of person who is fascinated with some taboo activity, but who is unwilling to go out and just do it. This sort of submissive therefore latches onto a dominant who, by “ordering” the submissive to act in such-and-such a way, gives him or her the “permission” that is sought. So, on this reading, the goal is an escape from guilt.

Similarly, at least one sort of “dominant” is the kind of individual who likes to be on the outskirts of taboo activity, but who feels that the dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship affords a kind of protection. To put it another way, the dominant says: “I myself am not the one engaging in this activity. It’s the submissive(s). Thus, I bear no culpability or guilt.” So, in the end, on this picture, anyway, the dominant is also escaping guilt.

Paradox of Sado-Masochism

The second issue is simply the curious notion that pairing sadists and masochists, for preference-satisfaction purposes, is practically impossible.

The usual idea is that sadists and masochists work well together. The sadist likes dishing out punishment and the masochist likes getting it. What could be more complementary?

The problem is this. If a “sadist” is a person who enjoys inflicting genuine pain, and the “masochist” is a person who experiences certain corporal punishments (or whatever) as pleasure, then the two don’t actually complement each other. After all, no self-respecting sadist would want to be delivering pleasure to someone else. But the masochist, as defined above, derives pleasure from various punishments. Therefore, the sadist would not want to punish a masochist (so defined), because the sadist would be pleasuring the masochist, rather than causing pain.

Notes:

[1] BDSM roughly stands for a fourfold conglomeration of fetishes usually enumerated as “bondage” (i.e., the use of duct tape, handcuffs, neckties, ropes, scarves, zip ties to “bind” a person for sexual purposes); “discipline” or “domination” (i.e., a wide variety activities, including the administration of corporal punishment or “paddling”/“spanking,” in order to elicit a submissive response in another person); “sadism” (i.e., taking pleasure in the deliverance or infliction of pain on someone else); and “masochism” (or the taking pleasure in the reception of pain on oneself).

[2] Some dominant females may refer to themselves by other titles, including: “Brat,” “Empress,” Enchantress”/“Enchantrix,” “Goddess,” “Princess,” “Queen,” and the like of those.

[3] The forced-bi fetish, like much else besides, could absolutely be taken “too far” or used as camouflage by someone with illicit or nefarious intentions. However, none of these illegalities fall under the scope of this article. FORCED-BI.com does not condone, excuse, recommend, or otherwise support illegal activities or rape.

[4] In this context, “blackmail” is supposed to refer to another sort of BDSM fetish where two or more people roleplay the ideas of exposure and public humiliation. FORCEDBI.com does not condone or recommend actual blackmail, which is, of course, a criminal activity. Similarly, the word “threat” should be understand in the context of the roleplay just sketched. “Threat” therefore amounts to (something like) “pretend threat” and “blackmail” should be taken to mean (something close to) “fantasy blackmail.”

[5] A sort of tongue-in-cheek illustration would be the married couple that is no longer sexually attracted to one another, but who manage to engage in sexual activities with each other – perhaps because each partner is thinking about, and consequently being aroused by, some third (or fourth) party. Another example would be a single-sex prison environment in which same-sex sexual activity may be a function of desperation rather than of attraction.

[6] Since the fetish is termed “forced bi,” and since “bi” stands for bisexual, and since “bisexual” has to do with the difference between males and females, I am here ignoring so-called “non-cissexual” persons such as pan-sexuals, transsexuals, and the like. But, in theory, one could derive other “sorts” by various combinations such as <a male-to-female transsexual having sex with another male-to-female transsexual under the direction of a female/male/transsexual> and so forth.

[7] This is a bit trickier, however, since it is arguable that the main thrust (no pun intended) of the fetish is to “force” a person who is neither homosexually nor bisexually oriented to engage in same-sex activities. On this view, the usual situation would be to pair an antecedently straight male with another male, or an antecedently straight female with another female. However, in another sense, it seems possible to have an antecedently gay male “forced” to couple with another male, or an antecedently gay female to have sex with another female.

[8] Again, there is a little twist, here. The typical assumption would seem to be that the person being “forced” is going to be on the submissive side, at least in contrast to the person doing the “forcing.” However, it is debatable whether it is possible for a dominant male to be “forced” into same-sex situations. On one view, a view that understands the word “forced” to be a real compulsion, this would be a contradiction. What is occurring, on this interpretation, would be that an antecedently dominant male was being rendered submissive. On another view, one that understands “forced” in a softer way – something like encouragement – the dominant male isn’t being compelled to do anything, rather, he is simply being cheered on. And this, one might think, is compatible with his remaining dominant.