She styles herself “equal parts curvy and pervy.” And – for what it’s worth – we second both! In addition, she’s quite the conversationalist. So, prepare for a wide-ranging discussion – and, yes, a few doses of “mindfuckery” along the way. If you’re being honest, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Just, whatever you do, don’t call her “Goddess”!
Hello, and welcome! How do you prefer to be addressed?
“‘Mommy,’ ‘Mistress,’ ‘Ma’am,’ or ‘Miss,’ just never Goddess.”
Oh, gotcha!
Well, thanks so much for being with us, Mistress Zoey Belladonna!
Any other nicknames or titles that appeal to you?
“I think of myself as a Domina, ‘kinkster,’ hedonist, pervert, experimentalist, and deviant.”
Kinky experimentation! I like that!
Give us a sense upfront: How do you see what you’re “all about”? I mean… is all this – the world of Domination and fetish – a lifestyle for you, a role play, etc. Just fun? Haha…
“A mixture of all of these.”
Quite a blend!
“Kink and D/s are definitely part of my lifestyle. It is inextricable to who I am as a person.”
Do you think of it as social activism in any capacity?
“I don’t think I’m necessarily advancing feminism or dismantling the patriarchy.”
I gotcha. Plenty of your colleagues take that sort of approach! So, we always wonder!
“But I do think there is potential for individual growth among men exploring their sexualities and relationship to power.
“I like to imagine that it can have a butterfly effect on the world, but that’s not what drives me.”
Okay, yeah… I gotcha.
Let me switch gears for a minute and ask about your clientele. I guess the most basic question would be: How do you think of – and refer to – them?
“I use the word ‘sub’ until we’ve developed a relationship. Then my loyal subs get their own, custom nickname.”
Oh, I see! Like a reward-type thing?
“‘Peanut’ (referring to the size of his cock) is one I bestowed recently.”
Maybe “reward” is not the most appropriate! Haha! Peanut paints quite a picture! So… shout out to him!
Still on the wavelength of gathering background information, I’m curious: what got you into the world of FemDom, in general?
“I’ve always been kinky, an exhibitionist, and a voyeur.”
Ah! Have you, now?!?
“I had a polyamorous relationship when I was much younger that got complicated. My partner felt insecure and jealous a lot.”
That doesn’t sound good.
“We started engaging in cuckold fantasies as a way of trying to process it. We didn’t even really know it was a thing. I was getting off on telling him about my exploits and comparing their cocks to his.”
How did Forced Bi come into the frame?
“From there, Forced Bi seemed an obvious next step. Instead of him getting jealous about it, I made him watch. Then I convinced him to participate. Pandora’s Box was wide open.”
Mmmm… and maybe a few other things were “wide open,” as well! (Wink, wink!)
As far as your online services go: How long have you been doing this?
“I’ve been practicing on and off for about a decade – more consistently for the last four years.”
But… you also have a “dungeon” or studio space?
“Yes! I am based out of New York City [NYC] and the east coast. I travel to the Midwest and southeast frequently and am available to be flown anywhere.”
Interested readers: Take note!
Are you aiming to make money, or derive pleasure – or both?
“Both. I love what I do and do what I love.”
Congratulations!
Are you full-time?
“This is a side gig for me – a passion project.”
Right on.
Are you satisfied with that? You want any more? …Or less?
“I’m satisfied with where things are at, professionally.
“But I just moved to NYC and am very excited to get more involved with the local kink scene – for both professional and personal reasons.”
That’s cool!
Do you feel comfortable sharing anything else about yourself?
“I am thirty-five, bisexual, and polyamorous.
“I love film, music, travel, and food. My hobbies include cycling, surfing (poorly)…”
Haha!
“…volunteering, writing, and photography.”
That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing all that!
Okay. Ready to dive into some of the, well… bolts and, um… nuts of Forced Bi?
Lemme start with the label itself!
On the face of it, the “Forced-Bi fetish” has two components: it’s got something to do with “force” and something to do with “bisexuality.” Let’s handle both, but in reverse order.
Do you think that true “bisexuality” – where a person is more or less equally attracted to females and males – is possible?
“I think we need to go back to the Kinsey Scale.”
If I may, let me just take a second to summarize that – for those who don’t know.
Alfred Kinsey was a 20th-century American “sexologist” – meaning, a person who studied human sexuality from a broadly scientific perspective. His approach was somewhere between biology and psychology. Among other things, Kinsey articulated the idea that sexuality fell along a spectrum. The key was that people who are either exclusively heterosexual, or homosexual, are extreme cases. He gives the impression that most people have tendencies both ways – to greater or lesser degrees.
“Sexuality is fluid, and if our society were given more room – ahem… if men in our society were given more freedom to explore without judgment – then this would be a common understanding of sexuality.
“As far as the term ‘bisexuality,’ I think this is an issue of semantics (or really pedantry) more than anything. To me, the prefix ‘bi-,’ in this usage, denotes – not the attraction to, or assumption of, only two genders – but an attraction to one’s own gender and others.”
Interesting. I’ve never heard that interpretation before.
I asked this before of you, specifically. But now, thinking of the Forced-Bi Fetish, do you see it as a lifestyle, a game, a power trip, …a trap (!), or something else?
“It’s a game, a fun activity, a rite of passage, a power trip.”
In other words… it’s complicated!
“I tend to only seriously date people who are at least heteroflexible. So, it is part of my lifestyle. But I’m not out doing this every weekend.”
Understood!
There is a litany of names for this fetish. Do you have any preference, there? Or …same difference?
“Again, semantics and pedantry. I think the reason terms like ‘Coerced’ and ‘Coaching’ have risen in popularity has more to do with online censorship laws rather than political correctness.
“I can’t say ‘forced’ on most platforms. But I can use the word ‘coached.’
“It doesn’t change the way I approach this fetish.”
I totally follow you.
Let’s get deeper into that. Because I think that the idea of being “forced” is a little vague. As you observed, for legal reasons – even when the word is used – it has to mean something less than “literally compelled by threats or violence.” But that still leaves a lot of ground!
How do you think of it? Coercion? Commandment? Encouragement? Enticement? Instruction? Permission? Seduction? Haha! Should I go on??
“Alllll of the above!”
Bwahaha! Nice!
“Seducing someone into doing something they (allegedly!) don’t want to do makes me feel incredibly powerful.
“Seeing how far you’ll go for me, reminding you of your place, encouraging self-discovery – I use all of these methods.
“The only thing I’m ‘forcing’ anyone to do is reckon with their internalized shame, hang up their insecurities and ego, and be vulnerable enough to let themselves do something outside of their comfort zone.”
Does Forced Bi change a sub’s sexual orientation?
“I said it before: bring back the Kinsey Scale.
“As a society, I think we’ve gotten a little too obsessed with how things define us. So what if you like sucking cock? So what if you try it once and want to do it all the time? Who cares?!
“Men are drawn to forced bi for a lot of reasons. Some want to feel proud, like conquerors. Some are exhibitionists. Some do it because they know it makes me happy and horny, or because they know they’ll get a reward from me.
“It might not mean anything; or, it might mean you’re a little gay. But… who isn’t these days?”
Bwahaha!
Not to put too fine a point on it, but… to put it dramatically, if someone asked you “Can Forced Bi turn a guy gay?” …What would you say?
“I don’t know, and I don’t really care.”
Is it bad if I think that answer is hot?!? Lol!
“I think there are plenty of straight guys who like to suck cock. There are plenty of gay guys that are exhibitionists and want to show off for a woman. There are plenty of deviants and adventurers who just want to try everything (they’re greedy – my favorites). It doesn’t really matter.”
Mmmmmm… I’m feeling a little warm, suddenly!
“I think you can teach someone to enjoy being with men over time. But I wonder how much that has to do with creating a safe space for men to explore and not be judged, rather than ‘training’ sexual desire.
I think it’s good to not think too deeply about these things.”
Oh?
“I’ll do all the thinking; you just get on your knees.”
Bwahaha! Mmmmmmm!
In your opinion, do crossdressing, pegging or strap-on sessions lead a guy into Forced Bi?
“I think these are all separate fetishes, but I do think there’s a lot of overlap. There are plenty of people who are into pegging, or feminization, but not power exchange.
“Though, I do think the cuck-and-forced-bi Venn diagram is almost a single circle.”
Haha! Could be!
Are Forced-Bi subs always/usually males?
“I have yet to receive an inquiry for this from anyone that’s not a cis-man.”
Is it possible for someone to be a “switch” or “versatile”?
“Absolutely. I’m a switch. Switches are real.”
Oh, right! You mentioned that!
So… you’re not all dominant?
“I identify as a switch – but not as a sub.”
Oh, I see what you’re saying!
“Hence, my interest in cuckolding – lots of juicy, contradictory, power dynamics at play. Keeps things interesting.”
Um… I’ll bet it does!
“My role in the professional world will likely always remain as a Dominant. But my sexuality and proclivities are fluid – and always expanding – rather than fixed and static among all my sexcapades.”
A sort of personal-professional distinction. Fair enough!
“There’s a societal stigma that posits that, once a man has been submissive, that’s his true role.
“Or, that once a woman has seen him as a sub, he won’t be anything but that in her eyes.”
Yeah, I follow you.
“I want my subs to do whatever I tell them. Occasionally, that involves them topping someone else – or topping me, if I’m in the mood.”
No kidding? Okay! Hot!
But… you also like just watching?
“I like watching people fuck. I don’t really care what’s between their legs.”
Kinky!
You said that you only date guys who are – how did you put it? – heteroflexible? Does that mean you think bisexual or “sexually fluid” guys are… more attractive to you than they would be otherwise?
“I pretty much only date bi or curious men.
“Truly bi guys are a rare breed. So, once I find them, I don’t let them go.”
Haha! Okay then!
In your opinion, is the Forced-Bi fetish “healthy” or “unhealthy”? – Psychologically speaking, I mean.
“It’s healthy. Free your mind, and your ass will follow.”
Yeah? I get the impression that some Mistresses almost think it’s the reverse!
But healthy – because…?
“It’s self-discovery; it’s exploration; it’s rising to a challenge in service of someone else.”
Fair enough.
Any spiritual angle?
“No. I’m not religious or spiritual at all. This doesn’t factor in for me.”
Nowadays, some people are opposed to the use of so-called “binary language” – e.g., thinking in terms of “feminine” versus “masculine,” etc. – when it comes to John Money’s concept of “gender” and sexuality. But Forced Bi, arguably, has a kind of “bi-narism” built into its name.
Notwithstanding your previously stated view about the meaning of “bisexuality,” do you see this linguistic fact as a problem for the “Forced-Bi” fetish?
“No, not at all.”
Fair enough! Just wanted to ask!
Do you think that Forced Bi, as a fetish, is getting more popular?
“I think it’s getting more popular.
“And I see a correlation in popularity that coincides with political conservatism. The more conservative the political climate, the more in-demand these kinds of sessions are.
“The U.S. South? Florida? The highest concentration of sexual deviants I’ve ever seen. I think this era of culture wars and heightened coverage of drag queens, gender expression, queer repression, etc. only drives interest in this kind of ‘taboo’ exploration.
“Especially among those with conservative values. But that’s a conversation for another time.”
I would wager that, in some circles, this is an acknowledged sociological phenomenon.
I learned about it when, for another study, I looked into the effect of evening-news, so-called exposés of Satanism on audiences. It turns out that reports of mutilated animals and odd forest ceremonies predictably go up after such broadcasts. Some of these are doubtless due to runaway imaginations. But untold numbers are – equally plausibly, in my view – attributed to the “copycat” effect. Perhaps the best-known, oft repeated, and widely studied example of this is the “Werther Effect.” In other words, people want to try what they hear about – even (or, maybe, especially) if what they’re hearing is critical!
Do you perceive that the Forced-Bi fetish is being promoted by the so-called “mainstream media”?
“No. I wish it were!”
Haha!
Do you think that a guy can “just try” sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit? “Maybe-he-likes-it; maybe-he-doesn’t” type thing?
“Sure. I’ve had plenty who just wanted to try and check it off their bucket list. Some were curious to try it again. And…well, there are some for whom it opened a whole new door of desire.”
It’s a mixed bag!
How “involved” do you like to be?
“I direct and watch IRL.[1] I like to be present, whisper dirty-and-encouraging things into their ears, make them see and feel how aroused I am, press my body against theirs, run my fingers through their hair and shove their throat onto a waiting bull.”
Oh, gawd! I think my brain froze up for a moment…
“That just doesn’t translate well over video or email. I want to be able to physically oversee and make sure everything goes safely and smoothly – and is enjoyable. And I need to be able to course-correct or coregulate if things go south.”
I gotcha! Real-time directing and monitoring!
“I also require ‘aftercare’ for my subs, with this kind of kink. And I prefer that to be in person as well.”
Interesting! I haven’t heard something like that before.
What sexual acts, if any, really charge your batteries? Cocksucking, anal, etc.
“I love it all.”
Oh? Yummy! That’s music to our ears!
Anything that especially gets you going, though?
“Fluffing my studs, cock sucking, creampies, gangbangs, etc. I’m greedy. I want to see it all.”
Mmmm! I have a soft spot for creampies! – Is that inuendo? You be the judge!
“Not many men are ready for all of that.”
Fair point!
“So, usually in my sessions I do a lot of fantasy dirty talk and strap-on training.”
Double trouble! Do those do the job of preparing them?
“I also do a lot of threatening.”
Oh? That sounds ominous! What does that involve? May I ask?
“Making them watch homemade videos of me getting fucked – and threatening to invite that guy over; …or, tying up my sub, unlocking the door, and pretending to make a Grindr profile with our hotel room number.”
Oh, man! That’s intense!
“As I said, not many men are ready for the real thing.”
No doubt!
“So, fantasy is often enough – which is fine with me. I get a lot of satisfaction from mindfucking.”
I believe you!
I can’t help but ask: Does Forced Bi arouse you, amuse you, or other? And, relatedly, what fascinates you most: the gay sex or your power?
“I am very much turned on by it as its own act. But it’s definitely about my power.
“Having two (or more) men in a room doing whatever I say? It’s divine. I feel worshiped.”
Oh, wow… Now I’m struggling to remember the next question!
How do you see yourself? Are you on the “light side,” playfully promoting healthy exploration; or the “dark side,” corrupting and tempting men to disaster like a mythical siren? Something in between?
“Somewhere in between. I think making it a little dark is more fun and helps people get out of their heads. At the same time, some praise keeps the insecurity from taking over.
“A little praise, a little degradation.”
An intoxicating, um… cocktail – if you forgive the pun!
What does degradation look like in your sessions?
“I enjoy using some taboo names. But I’ll also tell you what a good [use your imagination!] you are.”
Haha! I understand! Ahem… yes!
“I think it’s all hot – as long as I get to participate.”
Of course! We wouldn’t want it any other way!
I want to round out this discussion a bit by asking about limits.
Mainly, I guess: Do you have any? And… are they for you, or for your subs?
“My limits are for me.
“But I will always have several conversations leading up to an IRL forced-bi session to check-in about my sub’s and my bull’s limits.”
Right on.
“We will have conversations day-of, and check-ins during play.
“Any and all limits will always be respected. If anything feels ‘off,’ or if I sense that things are feeling ‘bad,’ we stop immediately.
“I want it to be enjoyable (in some way) for everyone involved.”
Responsible domination!
How do you feel about amyl-nitrite inhalers, colloquially called “poppers”?
“I love them!”
Really? Great!
“They aren’t for everyone. But I really enjoy them.”
Okay… just a few more questions!
What else do you get into, fetish-wise?
“I love Mommy roleplay, cuckolding, homewrecker, ‘blackmail,’ CEI,[2] strap on/pegging, bondage, nylon worship, high-heel worship, humiliation, and slut training.
“My list is much longer than that, but you’ll have to do your research to learn more.”
Haha! Would-be subs: You have your assignment!
Oh! Before you go: tell us how fans and other interested people can check out your work.
“My website is zoeybelladonna.com.
“Instagram: @the.zoey.belladonna,
“Twitter: @z_belladonna
“Niteflirt: https://www.niteflirt.com/profile/Miss%20Zoey%20Belladonna
“My Wishlist: https://www.wishtender.com/ZBelladonna.”
Thank you so much, Mistress Zoey! It’s been a wild and illuminating ride!
(All images of Mistress Zoey Belladonna are Copyright 2024, Mistress Zoey Belladonna. They are reproduced by Forced-Bi.com with permission.)
End Notes:
[1] IRL = In Real Life.
[2] CEI = Cum-Eating Instruction.