{"id":493,"date":"2020-03-14T21:06:17","date_gmt":"2020-03-14T21:06:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/forced-bi.com\/?p=493"},"modified":"2020-06-13T17:03:21","modified_gmt":"2020-06-13T17:03:21","slug":"domina-jemma-exclusive-forced-bi-interview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/14\/domina-jemma-exclusive-forced-bi-interview\/","title":{"rendered":"Domina Jemma: Exclusive Forced-Bi Interview!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello all in the Forced-Bi universe! Today we talk to an alluring and cerebral<\/em> British Kinkstress!<\/p>\n

Hi! Welcome!<\/p>\n

So, tell me, what is your name? What do you call yourself?<\/p>\n

\u201cDomina Jemma.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Jemma is actually My real name.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh? No kidding!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I got into BDSM I understood very quickly that this is who I was and I would never do anything else.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, I wasn\u2019t afraid to use my real name and face.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Wow! That\u2019s hardcore! You\u2019re the real deal<\/em>!<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been over 17 years now, so\u2026 that was probably the right call, to be fair!!!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Ha! It sure looks like it was!<\/p>\n

That\u2019s awesome!<\/p>\n

Obviously, given your title, you have an affinity for the modifier \u201cDomina.\u201d<\/p>\n

Is there a story, there?<\/p>\n

\u201cI chose \u2018Domina\u2019 as my title because, as a nerdy little girl, I was fascinated with the ancient worlds of Greece, Rome and Egypt. But, particularly Rome, where the Domina<\/em> was lady, and leader of Her household \u2013 in charge of managing all slaves, and often the secret force behind Her husband\u2019s power and influence.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Interesting historical note! It\u2019s not difficult to see the relevance!<\/p>\n

\u201cIt seemed rather fitting, especially considering my plans to live in Rome one day\u2026<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, wow\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026Which I did actually end up doing for 8 years.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I was just going to ask!<\/p>\n

\u201cI was the first Mistress to ever open a fully equipped BDSM dungeon in the eternal city. So, I forged a special connection with my chosen title through that.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I should say you did! Thank you so much for sharing that with us!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m guessing, then, that this is a lifestyle for you! Anything else? I mean\u2026 do you think of it as social activism? A spiritual activity? Anything?<\/p>\n

Thinking generally of your role as defined above, do you see yourself as engaging in any (or a combination) of the following?<\/p>\n

\u201cFor me, I would say that it\u2019s something of a spiritual exercise. But, rather than a \u2018spiritual exercise,\u2019 exactly, I see it as more of an education.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

In the sense of \u201cEnlightenment,\u201d you mean?<\/p>\n

\u201cThrough BDSM we learn more about ourselves, our values, our relationships, our sexuality and our true potential for pleasure.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Interesting.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen done right, it can do wonders for the overall growth of a person \u2013 not just sexual growth.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThere is a lot of mental and emotional benefit when we are able to be our true selves, even if only for a snatched moment here and there. And it\u2019s important to me to be able to offer that opportunity for my subs, however rarely they are able to manage it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you could say that\u2019s kind of spiritual, though I wouldn\u2019t identify myself as particularly spiritual.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

No, that makes sense. I follow you.<\/p>\n

How do you think of the people who seek you out?<\/p>\n

I mean, some Dommes and Mistress use words like \u201cbeta,\u201d \u201closer,\u201d \u201cmasochist,\u201d \u201cslave,\u201d \u201csub,\u201d \u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cHuman Beings.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Okay.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it can be really easy to lose your humility in this line of work.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Fair enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can make a lot of money; you have men constantly worshipping you, bending over backwards for you, doing whatever you ask. And you can reach a point where you take that for granted.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s easy to forget that these \u2018losers,\u2019 \u2018cashpigs,\u2019 \u2018betas,\u2019 \u2018slaves\u2019 or whatever word you\u2019ve chosen to denigrate them, are still human beings with complex human emotions and shit to deal with.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

That is\u2026 really down-to-earth and relatable.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love my job because through what I do I provide a safe space for everyone to be themselves. So, everyone I come into contact with is treated as a human being first. And I have zero expectations. The D\/s dynamic doesn\u2019t come until real trust has been established.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

That meshes well with the \u201ceducation\u201d perspective you articulated a moment ago.<\/p>\n

Okay, so\u2026 roll the clock back for me a minute.<\/p>\n

What got you into the world of domination and fetishes, in general \u2013 and forced bi in particular?<\/p>\n

\u201cI discovered BDSM as a teenager via a specialist sex shop I was nosing around in.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Ha! That\u2019s awesome! I\u2019ll bet you were something as a teenager!<\/p>\n

\u201cI fell in love and started working professionally soon after my 18th birthday.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m now 35, have been doing it for 17 years, and have lived and worked in many countries and cultures around the world.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI have always had requests for forced-bi sessions in one form or another in every country, but there has been a significant rise in interest for these sessions over the last few years.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I was going to ask that in a few minutes!<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s just down to the fact that it started as a very niche interest, but was brought more into the spotlight due to the ability to anonymously create and upload amateur adult content. It has become more mainstream as more and more people started realizing that their fetish was real and had a name, and that they weren\u2019t alone in enjoying it.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s intriguing.<\/p>\n

The 17th<\/sup>-century French diarist La Rochefoucauld is credited with once having asserted (something like) that \u201cpeople wouldn\u2019t fall in love if they hadn\u2019t read or heard about.\u201d<\/p>\n

Applying that to Forced Bi, were he around today, he might have taken an opposing stance \u2013 namely, that the availability of content has put the idea in people\u2019s minds.<\/p>\n

You have a different opinion.<\/p>\n

Let me ask: How long have you been doing this online?<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been doing this \u2018online\u2019 for as long as I have been a professional Dominatrix. But online 17 years ago<\/em> and online today<\/em> are two very different things!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ha! Very true!<\/p>\n

\u201cBack then, \u2018online\u2019 meant a website, a few ads on classifieds and personal message boards, webcam sessions via skype paid for with a top-up card for your work phone, \u2026<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Again\u2026 fair point!<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the only clips you did were for independent, European production companies who usually had a niche.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThat was your lot!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut now, with social media, clip sites, tube sites \u2013 and now, sites like OnlyFans and AVN, and the amazing cameras you get on your smart phone, the whole industry has become very content-based when it comes to marketing strategy.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Do those changes suit you fine?<\/p>\n

\u201cI try to keep up, as there is no getting away from the fact that this is the way things are done now.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

So\u2026 you\u2019re resigned to it?<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, I\u2019m from the generation just before the smartphone\/social-media revolution; I appreciate the value of my privacy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think social media is very healthy, and I wouldn\u2019t use it at all if not for work.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Fascinating.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have personal profiles anywhere. So, my participation in online income activities casual. My focus is, and always has been, on real time sessions.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI crave a real and physical connection, virtual does nothing for me.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

At this point, I usually ask my interviewees if they have real, in-person meeting spaces or \u201cdungeons.\u201d But, you just stated, with all desired clarity, that in-person is your primary area of interest! So\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cMy main interest has always been real time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThat is, after my first couple of years as a professional, where I worked from hotels and commercial dungeons. After that, I have always worked from my own play space which has developed into a fully equipped dungeon over the years.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMy dungeon is my life, and it is constantly growing and changing.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

What drives you? I mean\u2026 I get the sense that it\u2019s not about the money with you.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy concern is both pleasure and money. In a capitalist society, it can\u2019t be any other way.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t gainsay you, there.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t be available to session with anyone if I had to work another job to cover the costs myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cRunning a professional dungeon has huge overheads, and just like any other business, if I can\u2019t cover the overheads with what I do in that dungeon, then I can\u2019t afford to keep it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s basic economics.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Aptly put.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love my job; I love connecting with people, helping them discover themselves, indulging in our fetishes together and being free and human. And let\u2019s face it, nobody could still be happy in a job nearly 18 years in if they didn\u2019t have any passion for it.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Very true.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut if I can\u2019t cover my costs and earn a living from all the time and energy that I put into it, then I can\u2019t afford to offer that service at all. And I enjoy it; it gives me life; so\u2026 why wouldn\u2019t I?<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Whew! I can\u2019t add anything to that.<\/p>\n

It goes without saying, then, that this is a full-time occupation for you?<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been my full-time occupation for 17 years, in countless cities across 3 different continents. And it has been the only income to sustain me, my education and my global adventures that whole time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, how much of my time and energy do you reckon it takes up??<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s really amazing.<\/p>\n

And\u2026 you\u2019re satisfied? I mean\u2026 where things are you in your life? Would you like to be more involved? Is that possible?!? Less involved?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think about or do any more than I\u2019m capable of doing on a day-at-a-time basis.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll plan a few things like shoots, tours, events and what not. But I learned a long time ago that taking too much on can quickly lead to burn out, which is problematic when you\u2019re self-employed.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

You said it!<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about living in the moment and achieving a good balance.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m curious about some of your personal details. Are you in a relationship? If so, do your professional interests spill over into that? Are you willing to share any of that sort of information?<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m 36 \u2013 in June, bi-sexual, in a relationship with someone who is neither top nor bottom \u2013 just one hell of a filthy, fun bastard who supports me fully in everything I do.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not much of a social person anymore, haven\u2019t drank for over 10 years so pubs and clubs not really my scene. I enjoy spending time with people. I\u2019m just most happy at home with my other half, my cats and 3 snakes.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I wouldn\u2019t have guessed that.<\/p>\n

\u201cOtherwise, I\u2019m very outdoorsy. I love long hikes, camping and days at the beach \u2013 or, generally, anywhere in unspoiled nature.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m learning to sail.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s so cool!<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really, really<\/em> missing the sun since I moved back to the U.K., though.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, bummer!<\/p>\n

But thank you for sharing!<\/p>\n

Let me ask you a few questions about your views on the Forced-Bi fetish.<\/p>\n

On the face of it, it has two parts, right? Something to do with \u201cforce\u201d (whatever that means), and something to do with \u201cbisexuality\u201d (however we end up cashing that out).<\/p>\n

I\u2019d like to ask you about both of these \u2013 but, in reverse order.<\/p>\n

So, first query: Do you think that true \u201cbisexuality\u201d \u2013 where a person is more of less equally attracted to females and males (but see a further question about problems with so-called \u201cbinarism\u201d) \u2013 is possible?<\/p>\n

\u201cMy personal belief is that nobody is truly \u2018straight\u2019 or \u2018gay.\u2019 I think sexuality and our preferences are fluid, ever-changing and evolving.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThey are constantly being shaped and adjusted by our environment, our culture, our religion, our beliefs etc.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWe also have huge and curious brains that are constantly seeking new stimuli. As sex is a stimulant, it stands to reason that the brain would be curious about exploring all aspects of it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHuman sexuality is a shape shifter.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

It raises interesting questions about whether advertisers, marketers, and other \u2013 let\u2019s call them, propagandists \u2013 can sort of tinker around with it \u2013 whether with an audience\u2019s consent, knowledge, or participation, or without<\/em> it!<\/p>\n

Thinking about Forced Bi specifically, you have already indicated that you think of it as educational for the participants (and yourself, presumably). But\u2026 is there anything else to it, in your opinion? I\u2019m thinking: game, lifestyle, pastime, power play, \u2026trap?<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s got elements of role play; it can be both a game and a power trip for me as well. It\u2019s also just dirty fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, more importantly, it\u2019s an opportunity to discover one\u2019s true potential for pleasure, and to understand the many consensual ways in which we can achieve pleasure.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIt provides an opportunity to be open, real and present.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThinking about it as a \u2018trap\u2019 is an eyebrow raiser, though. Surely, anything that could be viewed as a \u2018trap\u2019 calls into question issues of proper consent!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Proper consent is a constant concern. It\u2019s of relevance to much of what we\u2019re discussing.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve spoken to all sorts of Mistresses. And several of them profess<\/em> to think of Forced Bi as a trap. (Of course, they could just be adopting a particular persona, or pretending.)<\/p>\n

But, I think it is sometimes thought of it any of several ways. Some Mistresses think of themselves as mythical Sirens \u2013 beckoning sailors towards the rocks. I think, to Mistresses like this, they feel like, \u201cThe person coming to me knows I\u2019m a Siren. He knows what he\u2019s getting into.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some appear to think of it as akin to a sub who lets him- or herself get handcuffed for bondage play. Except, here, the shackles are psychological. The sub\u2019s mentality or sexuality locks him into<\/em> something.<\/p>\n

Others think of it in the be-careful-what-you-wish-for sense. Some Mistresses seem to think, \u201cHe consents to Forced Bi. But, he doesn\u2019t really understand the effect that this will have on his psyche. But, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

But, it\u2019s tricky, for sure.<\/p>\n

Of course, you\u2019re aware that there are a few names for this fetish: \u201cCoerced bi,\u201d \u201cCoerced gay,\u201d \u201cEncouraged bi\/gay,\u201d \u201cEnforced bi,\u201d \u201cForced bi,\u201d etc., etc.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I guess it\u2019s a matter of what words are permitted on a particular platform. But\u2026 Which, if any, do you prefer \u2013 and why? Any? Same difference?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care what people want to call it, as long as they are comfortable with the word they use.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhile I appreciate that language is powerful to a certain extent, I think we\u2019ve put far too much importance on identifiers. All the new language is confusing to most people, and people who are confused by the language won\u2019t engage in conversation, and that\u2019s what the world needs right now.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as you\u2019re not using willfully derogatory language, then talk to me with any words that you feel comfortable with. The important thing is that we\u2019re talking.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Okay, let me ask you this.<\/p>\n

In practice, \u201cforced bi\u201d seems most often to apply to men being somehow impelled to perform sexually (or to imagine performing sexually) with other men. However, in theory, it seems that it could apply to other things \u2013 for example, to women being impelled to perform sexually with other women \u2013 as well.<\/p>\n

Do you see it primarily in terms of male submission, male and female submission, both, or neither? What do you think?<\/p>\n

\u201cI have had plenty of women who have come to me as part of a couple. And they have requested to be \u2018forced\u2019 to serve a woman, orally.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

No kidding?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had at least one of interviewee state that she wished<\/em> she had women approach her!<\/p>\n

\u201cIn my experience women are often into a lot of things, almost as much as and sometimes more<\/em> than men.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I feel like you embody that!<\/p>\n

\u201cThey are just not as open about it, as there is still a lot of stigma towards openly sexual women.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Present company excluded, of course!<\/p>\n

But, seriously, I hear that opinion, commonly.<\/p>\n

Another aspect that gets mentioned is that men are more likely to pay for what they are after. Maybe it\u2019s because women are more tentative. And maybe it\u2019s because women can more easily get what they want without spending money.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure. Interesting.<\/p>\n

As far as goes the second core idea, the idea of being \u201cforced\u201d is a little vague. For legal reasons, \u201cforced\u201d probably means something less than literally compelled by threat of force.<\/p>\n

Which, if any, of the following do you think is most fitting? Let me just list a few possibilities. \u201cA. Coercion,\u201d \u201cB. Commandment,\u201d \u201cC. Encouragement,\u201d \u201cD. Enticement,\u201d \u201cE. Inducement,\u201d \u201cF. Instruction,\u201d \u201cG. Permission,\u201d \u201cH. Persuasion,\u201d \u201cH. Provocation,\u201d \u201cJ. Seduction,\u201d \u2026Something else?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cA combination of a few of these things, I think.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, let\u2019s be clear: the term \u2018forced\u2019 is strictly in reference to the fantasy<\/em> element of the scenario, because nobody should be truly<\/em> forced<\/em> to do anything in BDSM.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Agreed!<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are definitely a few guys that fit into options A through to F. But, ultimately, I think most guys are genuinely looking for Permission and Persuasion.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s be real. Guy-on-guy stuff is the last taboo in male sexuality. There is still a lot of homophobia about, as well as incredibly old-fashioned ideas of masculinity.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIt shouldn\u2019t be surprising that a lot of men might be struggling with their attraction to other men, or even just with their curiosity about homosexual acts. They see the \u2018forced<\/em>-bi\u2019-fantasy scenario as a way to find encouragement and permission, yes. But more so to absolve them of responsibility for their actions, so they can live with the resulting shame.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I constantly talk about D\/s as a mutual blame-game! It\u2019s a guilt-avoidance strategy, for sure.<\/p>\n

The Dominant avoids feel guilty because, well\u2026 \u201cI<\/em> didn\u2019t do it\u201d (whatever \u201cit\u201d is) or because the sub \u201cwould have done it with someone else, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

And the sub doesn\u2019t feel guilty because of precisely what you identified: \u201cI didn\u2019t choose<\/em> to do it; my Mistress \u2018made\u2019 me\u201d!<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if that\u2019s what it takes, then \u2026so be it. Living with shame is hard \u2013 and unnecessary. And if this kind of session can help you take the first steps towards embracing your sexuality despite whatever complex nuance it finds itself currently in, then go for it<\/em>, because life\u2019s too short and we\u2019ve all gotta start somewhere.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s one for you. What do you think is going on with \u201cforced bi\u201d? Does a guy actually change his sexual orientation? And, relatedly, do you think it\u2019s possible for a guy to be a \u201cswitch\u201d or \u201cversatile\u201d? (That is, to be able to take on the role of either bottom or top with more or less equal facility, if not enthusiasm.)<\/p>\n

\u201cI refer to my previous answer with regards to my belief in ever-evolving sexuality, the constant search for new stimulus, and how easily sexuality is influenced. And, because of previous sexual experiences, different influences will work on different people.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve met guys that got really into it for a while then moved onto something else. Some that scratched an itch once in a while. Some that did it once and that was enough; they were just happy to put a tick on the bucket list. So, everyone\u2019s experience is different.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Some women profess to enjoy guy-on-guy sex. Straight women sometimes liken their enjoyment to that expressed by straight men who like witnessing two women together sexually. And in the case of two women, it is reasonable to think that participants are not always lesbians or even bisexual. They could just be exhibitionists. Other women might just like viewing gay spectacles. And a few, more dominant types perhaps, seem to find the gender-bending and role-reversal aspects appealing. Do any of these resonate with you?<\/p>\n

\u201cTo some degree, it\u2019s a bit of all three.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, also, it\u2019s because I enjoy being the person that helps these guys drown out the nonsense that keeps them from themselves. I help them to realize what they\u2019ve been missing all this time, and to see for themselves that it\u2019s just never as bad as you think it\u2019s going to be \u2013 if, that is, you\u2019re selective about what scenarios you involve yourself with.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s fun, that\u2019s the point of it, I make sure these guys don\u2019t lose sight of that.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

A few women claim to want to date bisexual guys, participate in threesomes with them, etc. Others seem to think that once a guy tries guy-on-guy sex, he\u2019s less desirable to women). This may be a difference of opinion between more dominant and more submissive women.<\/p>\n

What do you think?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care where you\u2019ve been or what you\u2019ve done; who you\u2019ve fucked or what you have between your legs; I\u2019m attracted to great minds and kindness, a wicked sense of humour, nice hands and a warm smile.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Ha! Nice!<\/p>\n

\u201cThe attractive qualities that actually matter transcend gender or genitals.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always identified as bi<\/em>, but most would say that I\u2019m actually pansexual because \u2018bi\u2019 is too binary to describe everything I\u2019m attracted to. But I don\u2019t agree.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI like boys and girls. I like boys that identify as girls, and girls that identify as boys. I like guys and girls who identify as both or neither. That seems pretty \u2018binary\u2019 to me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWherever you lie on the gender spectrum, we\u2019re still always working from a limit of 2 base genders<\/strong>!\u201d<\/p>\n

Is the forced-bi fetish \u201chealthy\u201d or \u201cunhealthy\u201d? I mean, is it positive and helpful for a male sub\u2019s flourishing, or is it negative and unhelpful?<\/p>\n

\u201cI think\u2026<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

And\u2026 Sorry<\/em>!<\/p>\n

And, relatedly, is it possible for a guy to get \u201caddicted\u201d to gay sex? If so\u2026 how do you feel about that?<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we\u2019re wrong to look at any vice in terms of it being either healthy or unhealthy, because the vice itself is not the issue, the real problem is the mental state and environment that led to the vice becoming a problem at all.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMany people engage in a variety of vices in a balanced way every single day, but many people engage in vices as a form of escapism, to avoid the tragedy of their reality, to avoid responsibilities, to avoid pain or abuse, because they are consuming mind altering substances be they subscribed or otherwise, through food that\u2019s changing their DNA, or simply because the physiology of their brain is compelling them to engage in compulsive behaviours.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWith the obvious exception of the few notable addictive chemicals such as tobacco or opiates, generally, it\u2019s not the \u2018thing\u2019 that is addictive, it\u2019s the personality type<\/em> \u2013 the state of their mental health and their environment and support at the time. That\u2019s why people are addicted to non-ingestible things like gambling, sex or porn consumption, and why many addicts may be addicted to multiple things at once, or substitute one addiction with another.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cUltimately, when we engage in activities like these we have to take some personal responsibility. Most adult men already know if they have an addictive personality or struggle with disruptive compulsive behaviours.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you know this about yourself and go into this activity fueled by intense desire, then you should be able to guess where this is gonna go for you\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAs I have said many times, in this job, some things are just better left as fantasies. We all have to take responsibility if we make a choice to engage in what we knew were potentially risky behaviours for us. You have to go into this with your eyes wide open and own your choices.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s maybe a curve ball. Do you think of any of this is religious or spiritual terms?<\/p>\n

\u201cIf anything, I\u2019m anti<\/em>-religious in that I like to expose organized and institutional religion for its part in using power, money and influence to dominate people\u2019s lives and sexuality. And then, through that exposure, liberate people from the strict confines of their religious beliefs to embrace healthy enjoyment and fulfillment in sexuality.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Nowadays, some people are opposed to the use of so-called \u201cbinary language\u201d \u2013 e.g., thinking in terms of \u201cfeminine\u201d versus \u201cmasculine,\u201d etc. \u2013 when it comes to John Money\u2019s concept of \u201cgender\u201d and sexuality. But forced bi, arguably, has a kind of \u201cbi-narism\u201d built into its name.<\/p>\n

Do you see this as a problem for the \u201cforced-bi\u201d fetish?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care, because there will never be enough words to describe every complicated and nuanced facet of human sexuality, and even those we manage to identify and establish will quickly become too numerous to recall. Add to that the rate that language evolves naturally anyway, and it becomes obvious that \u2018the right word\u2019 to call things is an argument we could debate for centuries without ever reaching a final consensus.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019d do better to focus on actions instead of being distracted by the importance of individual words.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Thank you for indulging me with the philosophy! I greatly appreciated your thoughtful replies.<\/p>\n

Now, I\u2019d like to shift gears again and get to those questions a lot of readers will probably skip down to: Forced-Bi activities!<\/p>\n

So\u2026, um\u2026 what homosexual-related activities do you most enjoy ordering or watching? Anal sex, cock sucking, creampies, cum eating, facials, kissing, \u2026 \u201cother\u201d? Ha!<\/p>\n

\u201cAll of it!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Awesome!<\/p>\n

\u201cI just love to see people being themselves and having a good time with it. As long as everything is safe and consensual and those involved are respectful with one another then there is no reason not to enjoy anything they could get up to!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I think somewhere on your website it read that there could be \u201cno limit to the debauchery\u201d if all is agreed upon. That sounds\u2026 intriguing!<\/p>\n

Do you think that Forced Bi, as a fetish, is getting more popular?<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, for sure! Viva La Revolucion Sessual<\/em>!<\/strong>\u201d[1]<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you perceive that the Forced-Bi fetish is being promoted in any way by the so-called \u201cmainstream media\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cPromotion and being mainstream are a closed circle. Promotion inevitably leads to something becoming mainstream, but by becoming mainstream you inevitably attract more promotion\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI would take mainstream media to mean television and major news outlets. Let\u2019s face it, their representation of even basic BDSM in general has been piss poor so far. So, I\u2019m not expecting to see big, informative and influential expos\u00e9 on taboo & niche fetishes anytime soon.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Do you have a preference between having guys in dedicated roles, or having both guys being plastic enough to perform in any role you want?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no preference. Everybody has their place in the world.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Are you aroused by forced bi, or just amused by it?<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m aroused by the fact that these guys are just loving it and going for it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m amused when they surprise themselves at how much they love it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m entertained when they put on little shows or compete with each other for me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m thankful that I can provide a safe space for them to even try it at all, so I can take part in the fun too!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Interesting!<\/p>\n

I think you already answered this in basic terms. But I ask it of all my interviewees. So, I\u2019ll put it to you directly. Do you think that a guy can \u201cjust try\u201d sucking cock or getting assfucked and then quit? Or is it more habit forming?<\/p>\n

\u201cAll the same answers of fluid sexuality and predisposition to compulsive behavior apply to this question too!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Fair enough.<\/p>\n

What are you interested in doing? I mean, are you encouraging guys to have real, physical encounters? Or is it mostly fantasy chat? Something else?<\/p>\n

\u201cI encourage guys to do whatever<\/em> gives them pleasure in a healthy, safe and consensual manner. If that just happens to be forced bi, then I\u2019m in a position to make that a reality \u2013 and will greatly enjoy doing so.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I like it!<\/p>\n

How \u201cinvolved\u201d do you like to be?<\/p>\n

\u201cI direct real-life situations and engage in a bit of fantasy chat through my various phone\/web chat lines.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut my main focus is on the forced-bi group session that I hold on the first Wednesday of every month where, through an application process, I select a compatible group of tops, bottoms and versatiles to attend the group session.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

No kidding? That\u2019s awesome!<\/p>\n

How does that process unfold?<\/p>\n

\u201cUsing the information that they provide on their applications, I may partner them off within the group or get them to swap.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make the call on the activities they do together, supervise negotiation and consent for activities suggested between them, as well as participating with my own strap on (and fists where applicable!) throughout the session.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Good lord!<\/p>\n

That\u2019s something to, um\u2026think about!<\/p>\n

What is your biggest focus\/turn on in all this?<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople being their true, sexual selves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNo hiding, no masks, no games \u2013 exposure, trust, real vulnerability\u2026 true and meaningful connections.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s something.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What sexual acts, if any, really charge your batteries? Just \u2026.literally anything? Or are you partial to anal sex, cocksucking, creampies\u2026? Whatever!<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to admit, as much as I enjoy giving these guys the space to do what they need to do and be safe, I really do get a kick out of giving you guys a taste of your own medicine.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

How so?<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have no idea what work we women put into sexually pleasing you, and it\u2019s so fucking great to turn the tables on you, have you understand what it takes just to try and swallow your cock, or to know the pain and horror of gizz[2]<\/a> in your eye.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, I gotcha! Ha.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt makes me fucking laugh to watch guys take cum in their mouth for the first time! The shock and horror of realizing how gross that hot sticky salty goo is on your tongue; that weird texture that coats itself over every surface of your mouth and teeth that no amount of rinsing seems to help; the horror in their eyes while they try to come to terms with the fact that they still need to actually swallow it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd, all the while, you can see the cogs turning in their head as they are simultaneously fighting against the inevitable collapse of their long held conviction that their wives and girlfriends \u2018genuinely love\u2019 swallowing their loads.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFucking<\/em>. Gold<\/em>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

There is an often close connexion between pain and pleasure! Like watching someone eat a jalape\u00f1o<\/em> pepper!<\/p>\n

\u201cPersonally, I consider what I do with forced bi to be a service to women everywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ha! Nice. So, there is a hint of social activism, after all.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly after a forced-bi session can a man ever truly appreciate and be thankful for the pleasure that women give him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m much less concerned with \u2018turning them gay\u2019 than I am with giving them a wake-up call to what they\u2019ve been expecting \u2013 and often demanding \u2013 of women for years!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Let me talk to you a minute about limits.<\/p>\n

Firstly, well\u2026 do you have any? Ha!<\/p>\n

\u201cHere\u2019s the thing: there\u2019s not a person on this planet that doesn\u2019t have limits.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWe all have things that make us uncomfortable, make us feel unsafe or anxious, or have negative experiences and trauma that can be triggered. Even if those things seem so minor and insignificant compared to the extremity of the things we do consent to, we still have limits.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, anyone who claims that they don\u2019t, whether they are a top or a bottom, is a dangerous individual to play with. Either because they\u2019re lying \u2013 which calls into question the motives and trustworthiness of the person you are about to engage in extreme practices with; or because they are dangerously inexperienced; or because they are actually incapable of even recognising their own boundaries, in which case they are sure as hell going to struggle recognising yours; or because they going to struggle to speak up when they find themselves in situations that do<\/em> actually cross a boundary for them, because they don\u2019t understand it themselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThose are the kind situations that lead to post-play blame games and confusion about where the consent lines were really drawn.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t even accept sessions from subs that claim they have no limits. It\u2019s an irresponsible attitude to have about your personal safety, especially when you\u2019re putting it in the hands of someone else you might never have even met before.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut on the other end of that irresponsibility is me, with potential culpability if a sub then decides that I crossed an invisible line that he previously claimed didn\u2019t even exist.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNo thank you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAs I said before, go into this with eyes wide open, know yourself, know where to draw the line, so you can make people respect it \u2013 and own your choices.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

You have a very reflective and consistent set of views. I\u2019ll give you that.<\/p>\n

In your view, what do you say about condom-less sex \u2013 \u201cbarebacking\u201d \u2013 and the risk of the subs contracting Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) or Infections (STIs)?<\/p>\n

\u201cMy answer to both questions is the same. As a professional Dominatrix, but also a qualified and practicing sexual therapist, my philosophy is<\/em> and always will be<\/em> to promote sexual health, fulfillment and wellbeing. And these activities don\u2019t do that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, my opinion doesn\u2019t take away an individual\u2019s right to freedom of choice.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI can promote<\/em> safe sex, but I have no right to make that choice for people \u2013 not even subs.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cEvery human being \u2013 submissive or not, man or woman \u2013 has a right to bodily autonomy and to make the choices that impact their body and health.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

All right. How about this\u2026<\/p>\n

Again, thinking about Forced-Bi encounters, how do you feel about married<\/em> men?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t always ask. I don\u2019t mind either way, though. It\u2019s up to every individual to decide what is best for themselves and\/or their marriage, and that has nothing to do with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHowever, if I come across men that are in relationships and hiding their activities<\/em>, and \u2013 if they are open to it \u2013 I will always take every opportunity to help and advise them on how to start these conversations with their partners. This may potentially create possibilities for play and more openness between them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMost guys, understandably, are afraid to even go there.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I can imagine.<\/p>\n

\u201cUnfortunately, we still very much live in a culture of shame, and men and women are equally responsible for it. For centuries, men have made women feel ashamed about being sexually open by calling them things like \u2018sluts,\u2019 or even classing our sexual desires as mental illnesses. (Yes, less than a hundred years ago, that was exactly the state of play!)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, a lot of women are always going to be too afraid to show men how much they really want and enjoy sex. And even a lot of those that aren\u2019t<\/em> afraid and still go for it live a daily struggle with the stigma instead.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t even imagine the amount of guys I have dated that, the moment they found out how sexually open and experienced I was, just assumed I was cheating on them with literally every cock that walked past \u2013 which rather quickly and inevitably fucked the relationship right up.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut women can be just as bad. We\u2019re very quick to give men the \u2018pervert\u2019 card as soon as they suggest something a bit freaky. And that shame cut\u2019s deep, too, because good men who are just curious about the stuff they\u2019ve seen in porn, want to try something new and have some good fun and connection with the women they love don\u2019t feel like perverts. And rightly so.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThe perverts are the pedophiles and rapists. Women don\u2019t appreciate that that word cuts just as much as \u2018slut.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, until we all stop shaming each for being sluts and perverts, and just accept that human sexuality is vast and varied, we will always be too afraid to be honest with our partners about what we really want. And we\u2019ll never get what we really want without pushing the boundaries of our relationships.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

After that very heady discourse, let me now bring things down to the ground a bit. Here\u2019s a practical, session-related query: How do you feel about amyl-nitrite inhalers \u2013 so-called \u201cpoppers\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mind the use of poppers. But, again, it\u2019s one of those things that falls under your body, your choice<\/em>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Roger that.<\/p>\n

Just a few more things, if you have time.<\/p>\n

I suspect that you have any other fetishes or activities that you like to participate in, direct, or instruct. What all are you \u201cinto\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cTo be honest, I like most things.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Ha!<\/p>\n

\u201cI could be here all day going through the list.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Fair enough. Maybe just a few for-instance<\/em> examples?<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, if I have to pick favourites, I\u2019d say bondage \u2013 particularly with ropes; all forms of anal play; cbt;[3]<\/a> and electrics;[4]<\/a> humiliation and degradation; kidnap scenes; breath play; enforced chastity; tease and denial; \u2026.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, my!<\/p>\n

\u201cSee!?<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Um\u2026yeah! Ha!<\/p>\n

\u201cLook how long this list is getting already!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Knowing some of my readers, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s not the only thing doing that!<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would be quicker to say what I don\u2019t<\/em> enjoy.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a great idea.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026Which is: scat, adult babies, insect\/animal crushing, or wrestling. But that\u2019s about it, really!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Fascinating! Thank you so much for that.<\/p>\n

Okay, so\u2026 for those who don\u2019t already know you; or for those who may not appreciate the breadth of your online presence; how can fans and other interested persons check out your work? Hit me with your social-media and website info!<\/p>\n

\u201cwww.DominaJemma.co.uk<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cwww.twitter.com\/dominajemma<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cwww.instagram.com\/dominajemma<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cwww.facebook.com\/dominajemma<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cwww.stars.avn.com\/dominajemma<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cwww.DominaJemma.co.uk\/Clips<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cwww.adultwork.com\/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=691721<\/a><\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wow, Domina Jemma!<\/p>\n

Thanks a lot for this! You\u2019ve been a real joy to listen to.<\/p>\n

For those looking for a domme who approaches her work deliberately and philosophically, look no further!<\/p>\n

All the best to you!<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/h2>\n

[1]<\/a> That is: \u201cLong live the Sexual Revolution!\u201d<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> I.e., \u201cjizz\u201d; cum; semen<\/em>!<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> CBT = \u201ccock-and-ball torture.\u201d<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Presumably, sexual-electro stimulation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hello all in the Forced-Bi universe! Today we talk to an alluring and cerebral British Kinkstress! Hi! Welcome! So, tell me, what is your name? What do you call yourself? \u201cDomina Jemma. \u201cAnd Jemma is actually My real name.\u201d Oh? No kidding! \u201cWhen I got into BDSM I understood very quickly that this is who… Read More »Domina Jemma: Exclusive Forced-Bi Interview!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":494,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"off","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[96,16,98,97],"class_list":["post-493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interview","tag-domina-jemma","tag-forced-bi","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Featured.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=493"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":501,"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493\/revisions\/501"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forced-bi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}